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Writing Samples
Band 7

Why people are working longer hours in the office. Provide solutions.

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It has been universally acknowledged that the problem of working longer hours in the offices is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.
This
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 has been of depressing magnitude.
Although
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 a plethora of reasons are there, some possible measures are
also
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 available to cure
this
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 grave concern. Commencing with the causes, which are responsible for its growth. The main reason behind
this
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 phenomenon is competition. To exemplify, nowadays people are working round the clock to earn more money because they want to complete their basic needs. In
this
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 modern era, everything is very expensive, which can be afforded if you have a big chunk of money.
As a consequence
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, individuals have to work round the clock, and they have no leisure time to spend with their near and dear ones. To cite an example, the majority of organizations are giving high perks to the employees and putting a heavy workload on them.
Thus
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, they have to give priority to completing their office tasks
instead
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 of enjoying free hours. In order to alleviate
this
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 complex obstacle, various solutions can be taken. The first method is that the government should enact some strict laws and policies to handle
this
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 grave problem.
Thus
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, people will understand the value of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and show their interest in other aspects.
Secondly
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, employers should hire more staff members and distribute work duties
according to
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 the positions.
For instance
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, many organizations give priority to hiring more employees to put less burden on their staff members. In conclusion, unquestionably,
this
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 trouble has been a burning question of the day.
Therefore
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, it is not an easy task to solve
this
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 menace. The state and individuals should come forward to mitigate the problem of working longer hours.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples and evidence to support your claims. For instance, when mentioning that high perks put pressure on employees, explain how this leads to longer working hours or include specific statistics if possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the flow of your ideas is smooth and logical. While your points are relevant, adding linking phrases and transitions could enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid overly complex language and sentences that may confuse readers. Clear and straightforward language will improve the accessibility of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively outlines the issue of longer working hours, clearly stating its significance.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with distinct paragraphs for causes and solutions, which aids clarity.
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