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Writing Samples
Band 7

Despite the large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with that? What solution can you suggest?

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There is a
problem
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 with why nowadays
people
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 do not go to any physical activity and
this
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 brings some kind of health
problem
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 and affects
people
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 from all walks of life.
This
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 issue arises
due to
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 various factors, including overworking and
due to
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 the lack of a daily routine.
However
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, several measures can be taken to address
this
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problem
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 effectively. Today's world has several gyms for
people
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 to do physical activity or marathons organised by the governments and some companies, but these days many
people
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 are participating in neither
this
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 nor that.
This
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 posture can cause health problems as they work overworking and they do not have a daily routine as they want to earn a lot of money and consequence they forget their health. Doctors say that If one person does not practice for their own body, it will bring disease that overweight the body.
Also
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, doctors emphasize that a person must walk at least 6000 steps in a day because it helps humans to well-being, but some individuals do not even do that.
On the other hand
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, it is not a complex
problem
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 and there are two ways to solve
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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,
people
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 themselves have to think about
this
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problem
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, as
this
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 belongs to them,
for instance
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 if someone working 12 hours or much more and a person wants to go to the gym who can find time for their own body.
Secondly
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, the governments must organize some activities
such
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 as marathons or something like that.
However
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, companies must have gym clubs in their buildings and they have to impart break time at least 30 minutes between work hours for their employees' physical activities. In conclusion,
people
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 must be in physical work and workers should be given certain time for Fitness activities by companies and the government should support them.

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task achievement
Clarify your main ideas in the introduction. It would be helpful to state clearly what problems are associated with a sedentary lifestyle.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are connected logically and transition smoothly between paragraphs. For instance, you could more clearly relate the reasons for sedentary lifestyles to the suggested solutions.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific health problems or statistics regarding inactivity to illustrate your argument more vividly.
content
The essay addresses the topic and presents both problems and solutions, which is relevant to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical inactivity
  • health problems
  • weight gain
  • obesity
  • energy levels
  • chronic illnesses
  • mental health
  • productivity
  • focus
  • social isolation
  • exercise
  • physical fitness
  • active lifestyle
  • health benefits
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • leisure activities
  • regular physical activity
  • physical exercise
  • cardiovascular health
  • strength training
  • flexibility
  • endurance
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