Nowadays women are having children at a much later age than previous generations. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?
It is argued that recently
women
decided to have kids later in their lives, compared to older generations. This
essay will show that this
is a positive thing because women
should be ready for parenting and spend enough time
developing their physical health
before getting pregnant.
Women
must be totally prepared to have a baby
, and that includes being mentally ready and aware of the required responsibility. A lot of mothers decide to have kids at an early time
, and they tend to fail in taking care of their children. This
is because they are unaware that motherhood requires a lot of energy and sacrifice. In addition
to that, most young women
are always busy seeking professional advancement and that will prevent them from having kids at an earlier time
. For example
, most of the divorce cases in KSA come from a mom who is unable to deal with parenting.
Most women
neglect the fact that physical health
plays an important role in order to be able to have a kid. A mother's health
is strongly linked to the baby
's health
. Mothers must take care of their health
before being pregnant. Women
who do not spend time
building a healthy body will suffer in
the whole 9 months of bone pain and will lose a huge amount of Vitamins. Change preposition
for
This
is why women
should not hurry up to have a kid in the early times, instead
, they must enhance their body health
first. For example
, most medical experts advise women
to take care of their wellness before having a baby
.
To conclude
, It is preferred that women
make sure that they are ready for parenting responsibility and to
improve their Fix the infinitive
apply
health
conditions from an earlier time
in order to have a baby
.Submitted by noufxmut on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and generally answers the question, the main points could be better supported with more detailed and specific examples. This will enhance the depth and clarity of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, improving paragraph unity and flow between sentences within the body paragraphs would make your essay more cohesive. Consider using more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions.
grammar
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that, if corrected, could significantly improve your writing's readability and clarity. For instance, phrases like 'spend time building a healthy body' and 'women should not hurry up to have a kid' could be refined.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written, providing a clear statement of your position and summarizing the essay effectively.
task achievement
You presented clear and comprehensive ideas about why women might choose to have children later, focusing on readiness for parenting and physical health.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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