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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some argue that schools should prioritise life skills like solve problems and teamwork.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that, some people believe that
,
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 schools should focus more on
life
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skills
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 like teamwork, and tackling problems rather than traditional academics.In my opinion,
while
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 some people argue that,
life
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 skill abilities are more crucial, I strongly agree that
,
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 the role of
education
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 in shaping the future of students is a widely important topic and it is a more common obligation of schools.
Initially
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, traditional academic subjects offer the foundational knowledge necessary for intellectual growth and understanding of the world since every developed country needs a knowledgeable society to expand the area and schools should provide the young generation with high-quality
education
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. Core subjects like mathematics, science, and languages build a strong base
that is
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 crucial for pursuing advanced
education
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 and specialized careers.
For example
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, being a professional requires a deep understanding and gaining of scientific principles and technical through rigorous academic training. Without
this
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 foundation, students are limited in struggling to compete in fields.
Nevertheless
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,
life
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skills
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such
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 as collaboration, critical thinking, and communication
skills
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 are indispensable in today’s fast-paced and interconnected world.
For instance
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, employers always pay attention to these kinds of features who can work well in teams and adapt to complex situations over those who merely excel academically.
Furthermore
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, tackling problems is an ability that benefits humans in every aspect of their lives, from making good decisions to overcoming personal challenges. It is not only helpful
while
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 working in a workplace, but
also
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 aids during the building of strong relationships.
To conclude
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,
although
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,
life
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skills
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 are essential for individuals
for
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to
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success
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succeed
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, traditional academics remain the backbone of
education
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.
As a result
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, it encourages youngsters to study, and learn new experiences .

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task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay without contradicting yourself.
coherence cohesion
Avoid unnecessary commas in your sentences, especially after introductory phrases. This will improve the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports that idea with relevant examples or explanations.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking.
task achievement
Some examples about the relevance of traditional academics and life skills in the modern world are well described, showing your understanding of the topic.
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