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Writing Samples
Band 7

Despite the large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world.What problems are associated with that? What solutions can you suggest?

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These days, individuals are becoming inactive and prefer a more sedentary lifestyle despite the numerous number of gyms available.There are some
issues
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 that have arisen from
this
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 and I believe there are some measures that can be taken to tackle these
problems
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. One of the most common
problems
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 brought about by a sedentary lifestyle is increasing
health
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issues
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.To be clear, when people do not do any
exercise
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, only sitting in their place can cause
health
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problems
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.
Consequently
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, the consumed food will accumulate in the layers of the organism, which can lead to obesity.
For example
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, many workers who have sedentary jobs like IT programmers or bank accountants, spend most of their time sitting.
As a result
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, they might gain excess weight
as well as
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 they can face life-threatening risks
such
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 as heart attacks or even death.
Thus
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, these kinds of
health
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issues
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 can be caused by a lack of movement.
While
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 there are several actions that can be taken to address these
problems
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 the best solution is to add facilities in workplaces like
exercise
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 rooms for employees.
In addition
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, they should be given a 10-15 minute break to work out.
For instance
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, for bankers and programmers, it is the best way to
exercise
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 in workplaces.The second solution is that the government should encourage them by organizing a variety of marathons.
For example
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, Monday could be designated as a running day each week.
Therefore
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, if these solutions were used, people could engage in physical activities. In conclusion, when people do not do enough
exercise
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 it can cause
health
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issues
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, the best solution can be to encourage citizens to do it and add
exercise
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 rooms in workplaces.

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that every point made is fully explored, providing more depth and clarity where possible.
coherence and cohesion
Work on providing clearer transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your argument and strengthen logical connections between points.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and illustrative, providing a clearer picture of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly acknowledges the contemporary issue and outlines the essay structure effectively, creating a solid foundation for the discussion.
task achievement
Your awareness of relevant health issues related to a sedentary lifestyle demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic, and your suggested solutions are practical and relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical inactivity
  • health problems
  • weight gain
  • obesity
  • energy levels
  • chronic illnesses
  • mental health
  • productivity
  • focus
  • social isolation
  • exercise
  • physical fitness
  • active lifestyle
  • health benefits
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • leisure activities
  • regular physical activity
  • physical exercise
  • cardiovascular health
  • strength training
  • flexibility
  • endurance
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