IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some think that it is a positive development, whereas others consider it as negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every nation in
this
Linking Words
 world
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 type of store with similar
products
Use synonyms
 . A host of progressives believe that it is a good trend
while
Linking Words
 others
are opposing
Wrong verb form
oppose
show examples
 it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views
along with
Linking Words
 my perspective that it is a positive development in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the former view that
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 kind of shops and things are more effective. First and foremost, it helps in improving the economy. To explain, when
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 type of
products
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 sold in distinct countries, the value of that
product
Use synonyms
 increases because the same equipment is available in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world but
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 different prices
according to
Linking Words
 the
nayion
Correct your spelling
nation
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Canada
Add a comma
Canada,
show examples
 the lipstick of Gucci is around 8000$ but the same lip shade may be 6000£ in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 as per the pound rate.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is a positive development that a person can purchase the same
product
Use synonyms
 in their
currency
Correct word choice
own currency
show examples
. Considering the latter viewpoint, first of all, everyone cannot afford it. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar
products
Use synonyms
 are not provided in distinct countries
then
Linking Words
 they have to buy the
product
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the price
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 which that
Use synonyms
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, a person who
is belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
 to a medium class
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
not only able to purchase it but
also
Linking Words
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot afford that
product
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, as some famous beauty shops are only available in foreign countries
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who live in other parts of the world may be not able to purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 price difference. In conclusion, as far as I
concerned
Add a missing verb
am concerned
show examples
, I reckon that it is a superior trend that
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
product
Use synonyms
 shops are available in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every country.
Although
Linking Words
 everyone cannot afford the
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 which are not available in their home country
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 if it is in their own currency.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition to enhance your writing style.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction, making your position more pronounced and making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy of your sentences. For example, 'a person who is belong to a medium class' should be 'a person who belongs to the middle class.'
task achievement
Include more specific examples to reinforce your arguments and make your points clearer.
task achievement
You presented both views clearly, which is essential for discussing a topic like this.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion nicely; it is clear and concise.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Homogenization
  • Multinational corporations
  • Consumer culture
  • Economic disparity
  • Cultural diversity
  • Standardization
  • Local enterprises
  • Cultural erosion
  • Mass market
  • Brand recognition
  • Economic integration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: