IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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In the contemporary era, there is a rise in people choosing to use different forms of medicine,
while
Linking Words
 these have unwanted side effects and may
post
Correct your spelling
pose
show examples
 a threat to an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 life. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement because it may be
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 to a
person
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person's
show examples
 health and
due to
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drug
Correct article usage
the drug
show examples
advertised
Add a missing verb
being advertised
show examples
 wrongly it may
result
Use synonyms
 in severe
complications
Use synonyms
. One of the primary reasons that herbal medicine is harmful to the well-being of a person as it is not
evidenced based
Correct your spelling
evidence-based
show examples
 practice.
This
Linking Words
 means that they do not have enough data to be scientifically supported or
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tested because of the lack of clear benefits of
such
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product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
. When being treated at a hospital for a disease patient choosing those
iteams
Correct your spelling
teams
 may
result
Use synonyms
 in
delay
Add an article
the delay
a delay
show examples
 of
a
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apply
show examples
treatment and
further
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 worsening of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 condition.
For example
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, in Poland, Miss. Gora was undergoing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stage four cancer, and she requested her physician to treat her with a remedy made from
plant
Add an article
a plant
show examples
 which could treat her disease after
refusal
Replace the word
refused
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the doctor, as it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 not backed scientifically
this
Linking Words
 put her life in jeopardy. Another disadvantage of
such
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method
Correct article usage
a method
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 of curing is
because
Correct word choice
that
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improper advertisement of a drug
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may
result
Use synonyms
 in unnecessary
complications
Use synonyms
. With the help of celebrities and influencers, some of these magic potions have ridiculous claims,
such
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 as
fixes
Wrong verb form
fixing
show examples
 brittle hair
immedietly
Correct your spelling
immediately
, or loose weight instantly which tempts buyers to believe in the products which
further
Linking Words
 results in
complications
Use synonyms
 like skin allergies, hair fall, nausea, and so on. As per the
survery
Correct your spelling
survey
 conducted by The Guardian, it was revealed that
,
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apply
show examples
 80% of folks who buy products that are fabricated by the adverts end up having side effects like
vomitting
Correct your spelling
vomiting
, headache, and nausea. In a nutshell, people prefer to use other forms of medicine,
while
Linking Words
 these have unwanted side effects and may be harmful to an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 life. I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement because it may
be costing
Wrong verb form
cost
show examples
 a
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 health and may
result
Use synonyms
 in severe
complications
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 wrongful advertisements .

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly communicates its main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the central theme of each paragraph.
task achievement
Improve sentence structures to reduce grammatical errors, which can detract from clarity. Try to avoid minor spelling mistakes.
task achievement
Provide more specific data or real-world examples to support your claims. This will strengthen your arguments and provide clarity.
task achievement
The essay has a clear stance, and the introduction effectively presents the writer's agreement with the statement.
task achievement
The examples provided give insight into potential dangers of alternative medicine, which reinforces the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicine
  • holistic approaches
  • integrative health
  • conventional medicine
  • effectiveness
  • evidence-based
  • treatment methodologies
  • placebo effect
  • patient empowerment
  • complementary therapy
  • risk assessment
  • medical supervision
  • healthcare choices
  • quantifiable results
  • therapeutic
  • wellness practices
  • integrative therapies
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