IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenager at the school.To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's globalized world, international educational
programs
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 have become increasingly popular in
the
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apply
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schools, offering
students
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 the
opportunities
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opportunity
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 to experience different
culture
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cultures
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 and
tradtions
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traditions
.Some people believe it plays
significant
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a significant
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 role in the development of teenagers or
students
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.
However
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, others
conted
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contend
 that it may
also
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 put
financial
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a financial
the financial
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 burden on parents who cannot afford these international trips.
This
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 essay will examine whether the advantages
outwiegh
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outweigh
 the disadvantages. One of the most significant benefits of foreign education
trip
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trips
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 is culture exposure which they provide.Getting familiar with other traditions and cultures broadens their knowledge and
enchances
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enhances
enhance
comprehension of people's
believes
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beliefs
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, leading to
cohesive
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a cohesive
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 society ,
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and increase
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increase
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increasing
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students'
student's
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students
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 capacity
of
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for
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adability
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readability
adaptability
ability
and different
worldview
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worldviews
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 which can be helpful in
this
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 interconnected world
In addition
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,
other
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another
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 core benefit is a chance to learn
new
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a new
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 language.
While
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visting
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visiting
 other
countries
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provide
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provides
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
you with
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with
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apply
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a chance to learn
native
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the native
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 language of the country which can lead to increasing
the
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apply
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number of career options to choose
.
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from.
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 Despite these advantages , visiting other
countries
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 for education
programs
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also
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present
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presents
show examples
 several challenges .
First
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The first
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 one is excessive cost.
While
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traveling
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travelling
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 to foreign
countries
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overall
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 helps
students
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 in developing critical thinking,the cost of these
programs
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such
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 as
accomodations
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accommodations
accommodation
, travel expenses and daily needs ,might not
suitable
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be suitable
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 for
an average income families
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average income families
an average income family
show examples
.
This
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 could lead to inequality learning in
the
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apply
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society or schools as some
students
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 may not get a chance to travel
due to
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the
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apply
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financial circumstances.Moving
further
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, travelling
other
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to other
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countries
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require
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requires
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self dependence
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self-dependence
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 which may not have with every student , resulting in
home sickness
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homesickness
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 or
over emotional
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over-emotional
show examples
 sentiments and could lead to a waste of money. In conclusion,
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while
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apply
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traveling
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travelling
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 to other nations can broaden
knowledge
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the knowledge
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 and experience of various cultures and traditions ,leading to
development
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the development
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 in
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the
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critical thinking of a student .
However
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, the exorbitant cost of these
programs
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 might not
affordable
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be affordable
show examples
 for some
students
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 which can lead to
ineqality
Correct your spelling
inequality
 of education ,
result
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and result
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 in
polarized
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a polarized
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 society on the basis of money.No doubts these
programs
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 provide with benefits to
students
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 , a balanced approach where schools and the governments allocated funds for those who cannot afford
such
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programs
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 is a prudent way to
organized
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
such
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programs
Use synonyms
 .

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy by reviewing sentence structure and subject-verb agreement.
lexical resource
Enhance vocabulary by using more varied language to express your ideas more precisely.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, which can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents the main points of discussion.
task achievement
The essay outlines both advantages and disadvantages of international exchange visits, demonstrating a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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