IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that there is no need to travel to work anymore because internet is best way to communicate. Others disgree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The question of whether online- communication will replace the necessity of travelling to
work
Use synonyms
, was a topic of debate
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is not challenging to communicate with colleagues
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 others reject the notion. Both viewpoints
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 their own merits, and
thus
Linking Words
 it is essential to assess the arguments from both perspectives before forming an opinion. On the one hand, Proponents of telecommuting argue that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 offers
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of opportunities
such
Linking Words
 as high-tech facilities for better connectivity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic gadgets with workplaces, and makes
convenient
Correct pronoun usage
it convenient
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 for the employees
toperform
Correct your spelling
to perform
 their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 regardless of their geographical distance. Another striking factor in
this
Linking Words
 regard is that
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology at an unprecedented pace
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days,
transforming
Wrong verb form
has transformed
show examples
 the various aspects of the
work
Use synonyms
 industry.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the customer-care representative jobs are now web-based,
therefore
Linking Words
, they can deal with the customers on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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- call
instead
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 of
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
show examples
,
demolish
Wrong verb form
demolishing
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 the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
communting
Correct your spelling
communication
. Discussing
further
Linking Words
, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 that audio,
video
Correct word choice
and video
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facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 of the internet
enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
show examples
 people to
take
Verb problem
get
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 assistance from customer-
representative
Fix the agreement mistake
representatives
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 in a quicker and easier way, without wasting time any money on travelling,
becomes
Correct pronoun usage
which becomes
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 the main reason for online- working.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the main underlying
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 stems from the fact that some jobs
such
Linking Words
 as computer system engineering,
technician
Fix the agreement mistake
technicians
show examples
 or dispatchers require
visit
Add an article
a visit
show examples
 to the worksite once or twice
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week checking out their performance level or dealing with customers' issues
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
show examples
. Proving
further
Linking Words
 it is pertinent to mention that offline
work
Use synonyms
enbles
Correct your spelling
enables
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about
the
Change the word
their
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 co-workers, working-pattern
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 workplace information, which not only
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
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 their capabilities as an employee but
also
Linking Words
caters
Verb problem
gives
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 them a sense of satisfaction and happiness, which they might not get at their homes
due to
Linking Words
 heavy distractions. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, many
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sill
Correct your spelling
still
show examples
 believe that one day the
working-pattern
Correct your spelling
working pattern
show examples
 will entirely be online. Ultimately, after a comprehensive analysis of both views, it is my firm belief that chances of diminishing the requirement to
work
Use synonyms
, are too likely to demolish offline working.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to better outline your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and relevant supporting details to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for grammatical errors, sentence structure, and word choice to improve overall readability.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both perspectives, which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as customer-care jobs, which help to support your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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