It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate about whether
people
Use synonyms
should continue working past retirement age if they are able to do so. Some argue that elderly
people
Use synonyms
should keep working,
while
Linking Words
others believe they should retire and enjoy life. Personally,
while
Linking Words
I see the merits of both sides, I believe it is better for older
people
Use synonyms
to retire and focus on personal enjoyment, and
this
Linking Words
essay will explain why. On one hand, supporters of working in old age highlight financial benefits. In today's challenging economy, many families depend on multiple income sources to meet their needs. Elderly individuals who continue to work can reduce the financial pressure on younger family members.
For example
Linking Words
, in a household of five, with two parents, a child, and two retired grandparents, the working parents often bear the financial responsibility for the entire family. If the grandparents
also
Linking Words
worked, they could contribute financially and alleviate some of
this
Linking Words
burden.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are strong arguments against elderly
people
Use synonyms
continuing to work.
First,
Linking Words
it is an ethical issue; many believe that, after contributing to society and their families for decades, older individuals deserve to rest and enjoy their later years.
Additionally
Linking Words
, allowing elderly
people
Use synonyms
to retire fully helps open up job opportunities for younger
people
Use synonyms
. Job markets in many countries are already competitive, and retaining older workers may prevent younger, qualified individuals from finding employment.
For instance
Linking Words
, as a fourth-year university student, I have seen many capable, hard-working peers struggle to secure jobs
due to
Linking Words
limited openings. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
some see financial advantages in elderly
people
Use synonyms
working, I believe that allowing them to retire promotes a fairer job market and enables them to enjoy a well-deserved rest, which ultimately benefits society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your introduction clearly presents your stance, which is great. However, consider slightly rephrasing your thesis statement to make it even clearer. For example, you might specify what you mean by 'personal enjoyment'.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. For instance, transition phrases could better connect the contrasting ideas between supporting work for the elderly and advocating for retirement. Using linking words will enhance the cohesion of your arguments.
task response
Although you provided relevant examples, consider incorporating a wider variety of examples to strengthen your arguments. Perhaps include statistics about the benefits or consequences of elderly employment, or reference studies on job markets affected by aging populations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an effective introduction and conclusion, which is commendable.
task response
The examples you chose (such as the household of five) were relevant and illustrated your points well, making your arguments more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive decline
  • Mental and emotional well-being
  • Social interaction
  • Financial stability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Self-worth
  • Physical health
  • Skill utilization
  • Experience
  • Flexible working hours
  • Generational gap
  • Elderly individuals
  • Retirement
  • Workplace
  • Economic contribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: