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Writing Samples
Band 7

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggestion least one possible solution.

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Nowadays, the rapid growth of the world population is causing many difficulties in every country , even developed and industrialized nations facing
problems
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 like
pollution
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, deforestation, overcultivation and many others. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the
problems
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 of the rising population and several possible solutions to avoid the consequences. The uncontrolled rise in population makes global
problems
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 ,
also
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 the advanced and highly developed countries are the possible origins of them.
Problems
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such
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 as air,water and sound
pollution
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 overcultivation, and deforestation are the primary causes of overpopulation. Air and noise
pollution
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's main reasons are the large quantity of vehicles in developed urban areas like China , the USA , and Germany. The carbon emissions from cars and the sound of engines are causing
problems
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 in developed nations , and having an effect on the world's ecosystem. The emissions trigger difficulties in many aspects like health , global warming , migration of birds and sounds of outdoor noise of transport , machines and propagation systems in poorly structured urban areas
also
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 have effects on human health and animal life. The main source of these
problems
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 is car use. Vehicles have many side effects on the environment after use, despite being the primary transportation type in our daily lives. We cannot fully replace them , but can reduce their number by calling society to engage in eco-friendly transports like bikecycles. The government can upgrade the infrastructure of the city for comfortable movement by cycling around the city.
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, eco-friendly camps can be organised to teach society to protect the environment, including the health and the future of the next generations . In conclusion, overpopulation causes many global
problems
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 in every part of the planet , including advanced cultures , which are the origins of
problems
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 like
pollution
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, overcultivation and deforestation. The main trigger of
this
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 problem is cars and the abate of transport can be the solution.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task but could be enhanced by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the suggested solutions.
coherence
Ensure to maintain a logical flow by connecting sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Transition phrases can help improve this.
cohesion
Check for minor grammatical issues and ensure there is clarity in your statements to improve coherence. For example, consider rephrasing sentences for better readability.
content
You have clearly identified several key issues related to overpopulation, such as pollution and deforestation.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, which is a good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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