Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old.Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.

In recent years, some parents have enrolled their children in preschool at a young age,
while
others send their
kids
directly to primary school without any prior preparation. I will discuss both views and provide reasons for each. From one perspective, sending your
kids
to preschool at a younger age might be more beneficial as it allows them to start learning and become disciplined in a more playful and fun environment.
On the other hand
, some might find preschool activities unnecessary and not economically friendly.
Initially
, I would like to mention that by sending them to preschool at four or five years old, you would give them more opportunities to learn and participate in fun activities that lead to learning important skills
such
as being friendly, cooperative, sharing, and caring,
while
also
reducing their selfishness, as many children these days are the only child in the family.
Furthermore
, they become more socialized, which helps them make new friends more easily. On one hand,
kids
being away from their parents, who consciously or unconsciously tend to spoil them, would help them build not only stronger character but
also
become more independent individuals.
Moreover
, based on recent studies from the psychology department of Oxford University, most people's character is formed within the first five years of life, so sending them to preschool, especially if they haven’t been to kindergarten before, would benefit their personality development. Despite exposing them to learning and a completely new environment, which may lead to various achievements,
this
might have some disadvantages,
such
as being away from family and feeling insecure. A study from Tehran University reveals that if you don’t prepare your
kids
before separating them from yourself, they may be more prone to developing mental problems in the future, even if they are small. In conclusion, both ideas have their supporters, and each may be better than the other from different perspectives.
However
, the most important thing is to provide children with the best care we can, which includes supportive parents to make them feel safe and secure, patient teachers to encourage and inspire them, and government facilities to provide the necessary support.
Submitted by sheidafarahbakhsh36 on

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task achievement
Ensure that key points are elaborated with specific examples to make the argument more compelling. For instance, elaborate on the study from Oxford University with specific details about "character formation."
coherence cohesion
Try to use transitional phrases to improve flow, such as "In addition" or "Moreover," to better connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces and concludes the discussion on the topic.
task achievement
You’ve provided a comprehensive response, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured, aiding in the readability and comprehension of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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