Some people say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern era, many people argue that the
retirement
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age
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should be extended
due to
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increased life expectancy. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
this
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viewpoint in detail and explain why I agree with it to some extent. On the one hand, raising the
retirement
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age
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presents several clear disadvantages. When individuals reach a certain
age
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, their memory and intellectual capacity tend to decline significantly, leading to reduced efficiency and effectiveness in their work.
Furthermore
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, the deterioration of physical health among
aging
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ageing
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employees results in decreased flexibility and adaptability, which can negatively impact job performance.
As a result
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, extending the
retirement
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age
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may prove counterproductive, as it can lower
overall
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productivity in the workplace.
Moreover
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, allowing individuals to retire at the conventional
age
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is reasonable, as they are still in relatively good health and mental condition to enjoy personal time and engage with family, thereby improving their quality of life.
On the other hand
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, there are valid reasons for governments to consider increasing the official
retirement
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age
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. Early
retirement
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can cause difficulties for companies, particularly in hiring and training new employees who lack the experience and skills of senior workers. Retaining experienced staff can help businesses maintain stability and avoid the high costs associated with recruitment and promotion.
Additionally
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, older individuals can continue contributing to economic and social development,
while
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earning an income that reduces financial pressure on their families. In
this
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way, raising the
retirement
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age
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not only benefits companies but
also
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supports broader economic sustainability. In conclusion,
although
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extending the
retirement
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age
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may result in reduced productivity
due to
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age
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-related decline in workers’ capabilities, it undeniably offers significant economic benefits for both businesses and families.
Therefore
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, I believe that increasing the
retirement
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age
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can be a viable option, provided that individual health conditions and job requirements are taken into account.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your claims about the economic benefits of raising the retirement age.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all points in the essay are balanced and equally developed. Some arguments appear stronger than others, particularly in the second paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay displays a clear and effective structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that addresses the prompt well.
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