IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that international news should be included in the syllabus of secondary school students. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s interconnected
world
Use synonyms
, access to global information has become more important than ever. Some people argue that international
news
Use synonyms
 should be a part of secondary school education. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, as it helps
students
Use synonyms
 develop global awareness and critical thinking skills that are essential for their future.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, incorporating international
news
Use synonyms
 into the school syllabus allows
students
Use synonyms
 to understand the
world
Use synonyms
 beyond their own borders. By learning about political, economic, and social events happening across the globe, young people become more informed citizens.
For example
Linking Words
, understanding issues
such
Linking Words
 as climate change, global conflicts, or international cooperation helps
students
Use synonyms
 appreciate how countries are interdependent.
This
Linking Words
 global perspective not only enhances their knowledge but
also
Linking Words
 prepares them to engage in international discussions in their future careers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, studying international
news
Use synonyms
 encourages critical thinking and analytical skills. When
students
Use synonyms
 read or discuss
news
Use synonyms
 stories, they learn to identify bias, verify facts, and evaluate different points of view. These are valuable skills not only for academic purposes but
also
Linking Words
 for life in a
world
Use synonyms
 where misinformation spreads easily on social media.
For instance
Linking Words
, teachers can use current events to spark classroom debates, helping
students
Use synonyms
 express their opinions logically and respectfully.
However
Linking Words
, some people argue that adding international
news
Use synonyms
 may overload
students
Use synonyms
 who already face a heavy curriculum.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 concern is valid, schools can integrate global topics within existing subjects
such
Linking Words
 as geography, social studies, or languages, rather than creating an entirely new course.
This
Linking Words
 approach ensures that
students
Use synonyms
 stay informed without increasing their workload significantly. In conclusion, I strongly believe that including international
news
Use synonyms
 in the secondary school curriculum would be highly beneficial. It broadens
students
Use synonyms
’ understanding of the
world
Use synonyms
, strengthens their critical thinking abilities, and prepares them to become responsible global citizens.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

strength
Your view is clear and you take a stand in the intro. Keep this direct stance in the rest of the essay.
improvement
Add more proof to each point. Give one or two exact facts or real examples to back up your ideas.
improvement
Use linking words to show how ideas join. This helps the flow of ideas.
advice
Try to use only simple words. This keeps the language within easy levels for you.
strength
Clear view and full answer to the task.
strength
Good idea and good examples for class work.
strength
Intro and ending are strong.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global perspective
  • current affairs
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural awareness
  • empathy
  • language skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: