IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often argued that foreign residents should have some knowledge of the heritage and
traditions
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 of the
country
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 they have moved to. I largely agree with
this
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 statement because if foreigners do not know about local
traditions
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, they may appear disrespectful or be misunderstood.
Body paragraph 1
In countries
such
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 as Saudi Arabia, Muslims have important religious
traditions
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. Local people take these
traditions
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 seriously, and breaking them, even by accident, can cause offence.
For example
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, during the holy month of Ramadan, Muslims fast from dawn until sunset. A non-Muslim foreigner who eats in public during the day might seem disrespectful.
As a result
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, people nearby may feel offended, and the foreigner may find it harder to build good relationships with neighbours and colleagues.
Therefore
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, a foreigner could avoid awkward situations or stay out of trouble by having some knowledge of the culture of the
country
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 they live in.
Body paragraph 2
Admittedly, learning about a foreign culture takes a significant amount of time, especially for tourists who only live in the
country
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 for a short period.
For example
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, an engineer on a six-month contract may feel that studying the
country
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's history is not worth the effort.
However
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, they do not need to become experts. Learning a few basic customs,
such
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 as how to greet people and how to behave during religious occasions, takes very little time and prevents serious misunderstandings.
Therefore
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, even a short stay is a good reason to learn the essentials.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I largely agree that foreigners should know something about the culture of the
country
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 they live in.
Although
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 learning about its history in depth may not be necessary for everyone, understanding basic
traditions
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 helps them avoid offending others and build better relationships.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you discuss both why people should learn local culture and why they may not need to learn a lot of history. To make the answer even stronger, add one short idea about how basic history can help a person understand the country and its people.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained. The Ramadan example is clear and fits your point very well. You could add one more small example of history, such as knowing why a public day or place is important.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part plan: start, two main parts, and end. Each paragraph has one main point, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Try not to use “Therefore” too often. In some places, you can join ideas by using “This means” or “Because of this” instead.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph clearly brings back your main view. It also makes a useful difference between deep study of history and learning basic local ways.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear opinion: people should know basic local culture, but they do not need to be experts in history.
task response
The example about Ramadan is specific, easy to understand, and strongly supports your point about respect.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a clear order, from the risk of causing offence to the fact that basic learning does not take much time.
coherence and cohesion
The start and end match well, which gives the essay a clear shape.
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