Public celebrations, such as national days and festivals, are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive, and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
The public way of celebrating significant dates, like national days, festivals and etc, is quite popular around the globe. Some people,
nevertheless
, consider that these holidays cost huge sums of Linking Words
money
, which must be spend on something more essential and beneficial for the whole society. I completely agree that the authorities should spend the taxes of citizens more wisely.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, the celebration preparation, including festive decoration, various shows, and fireworks, can be unreasonably expensive, Linking Words
hence
only a large city with a substantial budget can afford it without any harm for development of city’s facilities. Linking Words
Due to
the pompous celebrations, the authority bodies cannot have Linking Words
money
for renovation and improvement of socially important infrastructure. In Russia, Use synonyms
for instance
, there is an unspoken governmental tradition to celebrate the day of a city’s establishment in a wide way, when the authorities spend enormous sums of Linking Words
money
showing off, meanwhile more important things are kept neglected.
Another point to consider is that the positive feelings after the celebration of national holidays do not Use synonyms
last
long time Linking Words
by contrast
with plus effect from renovation of schools, hospitals and roads. Some colourful festivity will make people happy for several days, but the development of infrastructure in their home city will bring citizens more comfortable and safe life and , living in a Linking Words
such
place, people will be sure that their taxes are used in a right way. One clear example is the refusal of Norway to be the host of The Olympic Games in 2022. The government made a referendum among the citizens in order to decide to take Linking Words
this
big and expensive sport occasion or not. As the result, the majority of the population decided to spend the Linking Words
money
on more vital areas.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, the national celebrations should take place in humans routinely, but sufficient life conditions must be a prioritized goal for the authorities.
[13:19, 12/03/2024] 😀: Okay . Will check nowLinking Words
Submitted by s_syedy on
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logical structure
Work on developing a more logical and clear structure in your argument. Your ideas are sound but could be presented in a more streamlined way. Consider using more paragraph breaks and clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure both your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively sum up your argument. Your introduction sets the stage well by presenting the topic and your viewpoint. However, your conclusion could more strongly reiterate your key points and stance.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. While you provide some evidence, such as the example of Russia's spending on city celebrations and Norway's decision regarding the Olympics, deeper analysis and more examples would enhance your argument's persuasiveness.
complete response
Ensure you fully address the task, presenting a clear and comprehensive response to the question. You've done well to express agreement with the statement and argue your point across the essay. Expanding your examples and the analysis of these can add depth to your response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clarifying and expanding your ideas. You've presented a clear argument, but enriching your ideas with more specific examples and a detailed analysis can further strengthen your essay. Consider adding more nuanced arguments and counterpoints to provide a richer discussion.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your argument, as they add credibility and depth to your essay. Continue to incorporate examples, like the ones about Russia and Norway, and consider expanding on them to better illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.