IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people feel that students should learn from online materials while others feel that it is better to use printed materials. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a big controversy over the using different kinds of
materials
Use synonyms
 (online and printed) in classes. Both methods have their pros and cons.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will discuss both perspectives. Traditionally, to learn in primary schools, children usually use physical
materials
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, which have some merits and downsides. can train their writing skills.
For example
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, kids can learn how to write the words and sentences in neatness, because they need to use real pens and feel the sense of writing.
This
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 process can help them be clear when signing important documents in the future.
In addition
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 to
this
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, reading printed books can prevent
students
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 from interfering with the internet. In other words, during learning,
students
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 would not be distracted by 3C products, which can foster full attention to their assignments, thereby enhancing learning efficiency. Despite the merits of physical
materials
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,
such
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 methods might cause impairment in our environment.
That is
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 to say, producing these papers needs deforestation, which would damage the ecosystem.
Furthermore
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, the hard copy which is not used at all after each term will become paper waste, leading to serious biological issues.
Although
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 utilizing technology to learn would distract
students
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 from concentration, it can help us study in a more effective way if
students
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 overcome the lure of the internet.
For instance
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, learners can utilize some state-of-the-art tools,
such
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 as artificial intelligence, which means AI, applications, or video. These kits have different advantages which can improve the effect of knowledge delivery.
For instance
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, people can organize the information that teachers teach in the university, through AI systems or tutor apps.
Moreover
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,
students
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also
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 can watch online videos on streaming services, like Youtube, or Moodle platform. These can demonstrate the contents
students
Use synonyms
 learn at schools, which improves student's absorption. In conclusion, both virtual and physical
materials
Use synonyms
 have benefits and drawbacks. Educators and learners should reach a balance between them.

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task achievement
Consider including a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify your conclusion by reiterating your opinion on the balance between both materials.
content
You provided a thoughtful discussion of both viewpoints, demonstrating awareness of the complexities of the issue.
relevant specific examples
Your examples, particularly regarding the benefits of writing with physical materials and the use of technology, were relevant and added depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • retention
  • comprehension
  • distractions
  • interactive
  • multimedia
  • engagement
  • digital eye strain
  • current knowledge
  • outdated materials
  • learning styles
  • benefits
  • challenges
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