IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that traditional classrooms will be replaced by online learning in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In recent years, there has been a huge increase in the number of individuals questioning conventional
education
Use synonyms
 will be converted to online
education
Use synonyms
 in the coming years. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Since not only study resources are available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Internet but
also
Linking Words
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 accessibility to all
education
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 materials will be easy.
To begin
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 with, given to evolution that we
witnesses
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witness
show examples
 nowadays in all aspects of life.
However
Linking Words
, scholars focus more on
education
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 methods, because studying creates considerable
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in human life.
For example
Linking Words
,
Zoom
Correct article usage
the Zoom
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 platform
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 by several tutors and learners as
online
Correct article usage
an online
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sessions
Fix the agreement mistake
session
show examples
 that can
be maintained
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
 the data forever and whenever learners want to attend
classes
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 again they can.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
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students'
student's
show examples
 and
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
 time will be saved.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 authorities will alter studying into online
classes
Use synonyms
 in the future.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, some learners live in rural areas and the possibility
to go
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of going
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 abroad
for completing
Change preposition
to complete
show examples
 their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 is slim.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, it is evident that the government
changes
Wrong verb form
has changed
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 all types of studying to computer
classes
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.
furthermore
Linking Words
, countryside zones lack
of
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apply
show examples
advanced schools for their offspring, so states will turn
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
show examples
 studies
search
Correct word choice
and search
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 applications in order to facilitate poor people. With
this
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 in mind, if councils transfer traditional
classes
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 to online
classes
Use synonyms
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 illiteracy rate among people may
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
. In conclusion, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that
education
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 must
replace
Wrong verb form
be replaced
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online in order to save time,
studying
Correct word choice
and studying
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 resources and students who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 can boost their level of
education
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more thoroughly and support them with clear examples or explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain a logical flow throughout your essay. Use clear transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence and help the reader follow your arguments.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in your introduction, which is a good start for addressing the task.
task achievement
You made an effort to discuss the benefits of online learning, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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