IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Demand of food is increasing world wide. What are the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to make sure the food supply is enough?

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Use synonyms
Demand
Add an article
The demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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food
Use synonyms
 is growing worldwide. The major reason for
this
Linking Words
 trend is
a
Remove the article
apply
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population growth. International communities can
creates
Change the verb form
create
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 a group or organisation to the confirmation of
food
Use synonyms
 supply.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
food
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 is an essential thing in everyone’s life and it plays
significant
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a significant
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 role.
For example
Linking Words
, a proper diet offers energy to keep active throughout the day.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many factors
such
Linking Words
 as nutrients, minerals and proteins are
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 for
groth
Correct your spelling
growth
 and repair which help to stay strong and healthy and assist
to prevent
Change preposition
in preventing
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diet- related
Correct your spelling
diet-related
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illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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.
However
Linking Words
,
food
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demand
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 can increase
due to
Linking Words
 population growth, mainly economic development. As
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
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, people typically have more disposable income, leading to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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demand
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 for a diverse range of foods,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 higher quality and more expensive
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, international communities strengthen
Use synonyms
food
Add an article
the food
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 supply chain by
build
Change the verb form
building
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efficient
Correct article usage
an efficient
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food
Use synonyms
 supply
chain
Fix the agreement mistake
chains
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 in both urban and rural
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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 mainly to reduce
food
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 waste and
food
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 loss.
This
Linking Words
enhance
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enhances
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 nutritious and plentiful
food
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 availability to consumers. People can maximise the
food
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 wastage.
For instance
Linking Words
, eat cooked
food
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 immediately because
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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food
Use synonyms
 items
demolish
Wrong verb form
are demolished
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 quickly.
Also
Linking Words
, stored carefully with the help of
air tightened
Add a hyphen
air-tightened
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 containers. Always reheat cooked foods
while
Linking Words
eat
Change the verb form
eating
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 the second time. These steps can help to ensure
food
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 safety.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
other
Change the wording
another
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 factor
is improve
Change the verb form
is improved
is improving
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 infrastructure like machines, storage and transport.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
food
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demand
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 is increasing day by day, mainly because of the population and
international
Add an article
the international
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 community has several ways to
checks
Wrong verb form
check
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 the
food
Use synonyms
 supply.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could provide a clearer overview of the main points to be discussed, and the thesis statement could be more explicit.
Task Achievement
Make sure to include more specific measures that the international community can take towards improving food supply.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better overall structure and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of food demand and provides relevant examples, which demonstrates some understanding of the subject.
Task Achievement
You provide a good explanation of how population growth contributes to increased food demand, which reflects clear thinking on the issue.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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