IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children. Others think parents do not need to do that as children can read books or watch TV, movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Certain individuals have an opinion that guardians should interpret stories or read books to their
children
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while
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 others opine that juveniles can do so.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints in detail
also
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, in the end, it will provide my opinion on opting for these habits are better for developing their linguistic
skills
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, knowledge, and critical thinking
skills
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.
To begin
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 with, a plethora of people believe that
parents
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 should be involved in reciting novels or telling stories to their kids in day-to-day life as it facilitates their bonding. Caretakers can divide their time apart from work educating their
children
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 through narrating tales or highlighting cultural beliefs that help to connect and rejuvenate.
For example
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, A study has shown that
parents
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 who spend their time narrating imaginary tales to their offspring, improve their emotional bond helps them to connect deeply, and build more trust.
In contrast
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, preschoolers have access to make themselves busy and enjoy learning via digital platforms or physical articles
therefore
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,
parents
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 should allow their
children
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 to surf the internet and educational tools that promote a sense of autonomy that develops their curiosity
as well as
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 challenge their critical thinking
skills
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 which are very vital for the developmental growth.
For instance
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, many speech therapists have suggested that letting toddlers watch and learn from the mindful creative content on TV or YouTube, enhances their interest and curiosity that helps them to learn how to think, react, and communicate to the real event.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, I would say
children
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 can access their fascinating resources to educate themselves
however
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, for
parents
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, it is important to gel with their kids. Having disciplined habits of learning through digital media and with the help of
parents
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 can enhance one's linguistic, communication, and critical thinking
skills
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 enables to grow personally and professionally in the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, improving the logical flow between ideas will enhance coherence. Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the next.
task achievement
While you provided arguments for both sides, some points lacked deeper exploration. Adding more specific examples and details would strengthen your task response.
task achievement
You effectively presented both viewpoints and concluded with your opinion, which is essential in IELTS writing.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as studies and recommendations from speech therapists, added depth to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Storytelling
  • Linguistic skills
  • Bonding
  • Cultural values
  • Pronunciation
  • Comprehension
  • Literacy habits
  • Visually inclined
  • Vivid imagery
  • Educational programs
  • Digital formats
  • Autonomy
  • Critical thinking
  • Interpret and engage
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