Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

Undoubtedly, changing the traditional school curriculum for the benefit of children has become a heated topic of discussion. Some people working in advanced industries have accentuated the need to bring some potential changes in the ongoing
education
system
in order to meet the market requirements. They put forward a plethora of things like arts, sports, vocational training and a lot more that should be added to bring an avalanche of benefits. I agree that a new
system
is needed for an hour to benefit the global population.
This
essay will discuss the various positives to support the revolution of transforming the old structure.
Firstly
, adding courses like creativity, sports, internships and much more will help the student to show their hidden talent. Creative activities
such
as dancing, painting and a lot more can bring dramatic changes in toddlers' lives.
This
results in bolstering them to burst
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the stress accumulated because of regular school subjects and acquire some exceptional skills.
Hence
, in future, they can transform these smart skills into a full-time profession.
For example
, a study by Oxford University revealed that many sports personalities are not intellectual
however
their gaming skills help them to gain popularity.
Secondly
, doing some hands-on practicals after going through the theoretical
education
will open gateways of opportunities for the pupils.
This
results in supporting them to gain awareness about the market requirements and fill the knowledge gaps when exposed to real work. To illustrate, Engineering students must do a short internship in their field of study in order to learn about using their learning in solving real-world problems.
Furthermore
, the old
education
system
focused more on scoring good grades and bookish knowledge.
This
results in putting a lot of mental stress on the children and limits their holistic development.
For instance
, a study by the US Child Psychology Department revealed that 15% of kids are facing depression because of the homework burden given by the schools. In conclusion, I think the changes in the
education
system
worldwide will cultivate numerous positive outcomes and bless the little ones with successful careers.
Submitted by joshi65201 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task effectively, ensure that all points are elaborated equally. For example, expand the discussion on practical skills with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
While coherence is strong, some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Linking phrases between ideas could enhance the flow further.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-articulated, setting the tone and summarizing the essay effectively.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with clear main points that are supported well with relevant examples.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific studies and examples strengthens the arguments significantly.

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