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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

he graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featues, and make comparisons where relevant.

he graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featues, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates how much
fish
Use synonyms
,chicken,lamb,and
beef
Use synonyms
 were consumed
in particular
Linking Words
 European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 from 1097 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of eaten
beef
Use synonyms
 declined over the given
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the chicken
rate
Use synonyms
 rose,
additionally
Linking Words
, it ranked as the highest by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
. Notably, the
grams
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
per person ate
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 stable throughout the years. As the data clearly indicates, the consumption of chicken for one person weekly started with a
rate
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 below 150
grams
Use synonyms
. In the following
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 increased gradually, and in 2004 it peaked at over 250.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
beef
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
, which share was the highest at almost 210 in 1979, the amount of
beef
Use synonyms
 eaten weekly decreased between 1997 and 1984. By the end of the prior
period
Use synonyms
 it increased sharply,
this
Linking Words
 trend continued until 1998,
however
Linking Words
, in the next twenty years the
beef
Use synonyms
grams
Use synonyms
 consumption had a large reduction as it reached
approxiamtely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 100, which is almost half of the
rtae
Correct your spelling
rate
 it
recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
record
 in the first year. Moving to the categories that had minor changes were the lamb and
fish
Use synonyms
 category. The lamb, which started at 150
grams
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a downward trend over the twenty- five
period
Use synonyms
 as its share was about 60
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2004. Interestingly, the amount of
fish
Use synonyms
 which was consumed in
this
Linking Words
 European country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 remained relatively
satble
Correct your spelling
stable
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, beef, period, rate, grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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