In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the previous decade,
people
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captured
knowledge
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in
books
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.
However
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, in today's digital age, most individuals believe that
knowledge
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is contained on the social networking site. It is the writer who strongly supports that the benefits of a variety of valuable
knowledge
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and constant access to
information
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on the
internet
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far outweigh the drawbacks of illegal and misleading
information
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. One of the main beneficial aspects of storing
knowledge
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on social networks
instead
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of storing it in
books
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. There is no doubt that the
internet
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brings more conveniences for
people
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to capture
knowledge
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in all
fields
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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can contain more in-depth or professional
data
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throughout the social networking site. There is no limitation about
information
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in all areas of our
life
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on the
internet
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and
people
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update the newest
information
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on the
internet
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immediately
instead
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of waiting for the publication of new
books
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.
For instance
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, relying on a public survey of a specific American university, a large percentage of students chose to capture new
knowledge
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for their assignments and
knowledge
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stored in
books
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was chosen by a few numbers of students. Because they believe that the
internet
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brings more valuable and useful
information
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for them in any circumstances. Another significant advantage of containing
data
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on the social networking site is saving significant
time
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for all
people
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, regardless of age and sex. It is a transport to approach immediately
information
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everywhere and every
time
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.
People
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can easily and quickly access more
fields
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in their lives. They
also
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spend less
time
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acquiring
knowledge
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on the
internet
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,
whereas
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books
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take a massive amount of
time
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to be read before storing some necessary
knowledge
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.
Hence
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,
people
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prefer to utilize modern technology to constantly approach their
data
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anywhere and anytime. There is clear evidence that
people
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of all ages presently use the
internet
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to update the latest news and capture more
data
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in
this
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day and age far more than reading
books
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for a long
time
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to contain
information
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in many specific areas. The main drawback associated with
knowledge
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being stored on the
internet
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in
this
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hustle and bustle of
life
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is the illegal and misinformation
data
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. In the present day, some
people
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are interested in posting without any verification so a lot of misleading
information
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is expanded quickly in public.
For
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this
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reason, their community declines the social levels and supports the bad behaviours.
Furthermore
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,
this
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action has some negative impact on health-related and law-related
fields
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in each person's
life
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. Take the Vietnamese community as a specific example for
this
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statement, a lot of teenagers lean towards a trend which shares and expresses their emotions about particular problems but they do not exactly know the realistic levels.
Moreover
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, there are more and more illegal
information
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is spread by Vietnamese without verification by anyone.
Thus
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,
this
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activity may bring more terrible consequences for each
life
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and society. Considering all of these factors, strong
knowledge
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of social networking sites is a key method to gain more valuable and useful
knowledge
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and immediately approach their needed
data
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in all
fields
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still outweighed by the wrong
information
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.
Hence
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, the
Internet
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is far more beneficial for our developing
life
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than
books
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in any way.
Submitted by [email protected] on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. The current introduction mentions advantages and disadvantages but could be clearer in setting up what will be covered.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to ensure ideas are connected smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Review and refine grammar and sentence structures to avoid repetitive or awkward phrasing. This will help in delivering your ideas more effectively and clearly.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet effectively, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the public survey from an American university and the situation in Vietnam, help in supporting your arguments and add credibility to your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, which provides a logical framework for your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Instantly
  • Efficient
  • Deteriorate
  • Collaboration
  • Innovation
  • Reliance
  • Data security
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic
  • Over-dependence
  • Critically evaluate
  • Surface-level learning
What to do next:
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