Topic: Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The importance of
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
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economic wealth
was
Verb problem
has
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always debatable
has
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and has
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now become more controversial with many
people
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claiming
that is
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beneficial
as
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for
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a
Remove the article
apply
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economic growth,
while
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others reject
this
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option. The substantial influence of
this
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trend has sparked
the
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apply
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controversy over the potential
impact
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in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational as
people
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's
overall
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satisfaction. In
this
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essay, I will
further
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elaborate
the
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on the
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negative
impact
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of
this
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trend and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
this
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is
that
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apply
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higher healthcare and better quality of life. It means
people
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experience improved living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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, leading to greater happiness.
For example
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, in developing countries, higher national income helps provide better healthcare, education and infrastructure. Another striking benefit in
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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regard is new job opportunities,
education
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and education
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which may contribute to satisfaction.
For instance
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, wealthier countries can invest in social
programms
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programmes
programs
, creating different factories that may
leads
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lead
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to more and more workplaces for employees.
Therefore
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,
government
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the government
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should focus not only on economic progress but
also
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policies
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on policies
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.
Nevertheless
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, overwork has its drawbacks that should be considered. One of the major
drawback
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drawbacks
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is stress and more pressure. Giving an example, in reacher nations, workers experience stress and lack of social connections despite high incomes. Moving
further
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, it is pertinent to mention
is
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exessive
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excessive
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consumerism as
people
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constantly seek more material possession without feeling truly fulfilled. As an example, personal achievements and a sense of purpose tend to have a greater
impact
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on happiness.
Thus
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, If workers do not pay attention to their health, it may cause incurable ailments in later life. In conclusion,
while
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economic growth is essential for
imroving
Correct your spelling
improving
lifestyles, its
impact
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on happiness decreases in wealthy countries. Beyond a certain level of prosperity, mental health
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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more important than financial gains.

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Task Response
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic. It should directly state whether you agree or disagree and give a brief overview of the main points you will discuss.
Task Response
Develop your ideas further by providing more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. This will strengthen your argument and enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling, as mistakes can distract from your ideas. For example, 'reacher' should be 'richer', and 'programms' should be 'programs'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences relate back to this main idea. This will help to improve the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
Positive Aspect
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of economic wealth, which shows good critical thinking skills.
Positive Aspect
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points well, particularly those related to job opportunities and healthcare.
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