IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently, while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are two main opinions when recruiting
people
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. Some say that companies should hire innovators and
they
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apply
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who are able to
work
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 independently,
while
Linking Words
 others consider they should recruit
people
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 who are able to
work
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 in a team and follow instructions.
Firstly
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, let's start the discussion with the first opinion. Sure, these two qualities are very important for personal. Innovators are very necessary for any
company
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, they are very useful. They have
ability
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the ability
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 to come up with new ideas,
technologies
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and technologies
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 that will help the
company
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 reach a new level. Often companies value
such
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people
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 very much and try to create all the conditions for them. Telling about the ability to
work
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 independently, of course
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is certainly
important
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an important
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 factor. Every person should be able to
work
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 independently, unless he is at the beginning of his career
,
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apply
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 when he needs a mentor. Without independent
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work
Add a comma
work,
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 it is difficult to bring benefit to the
company
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. Now, let's consider the second opinion. One of the important aspects when hiring
people
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 in a large
company
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 is the ability to
work
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 in a team. Often
such
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 companies have a huge amount of
work
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 that cannot be done by one person.
A good
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Good
show examples
 teamwork is always appreciated and encouraged.
And to
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To
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 perform the job correctly and safely, you must always follow the instructions. It is mandatory to strictly follow the instructions other ways it can bring failure or fatal situation. It is necessary to always remember that safety first. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would agree whit that both opinions are correct. All those qualities mentioned above are important
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while
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when
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 recruiting
people
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.

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task achievement
Develop your introduction further to clearly outline both perspectives and your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences to enhance overall coherence, such as using better linking phrases between ideas.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or scenarios that illustrate your points, especially regarding the benefits of innovators and teamwork.
task achievement
You clearly presented both views in your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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