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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The concept of success has varying interpretations. Some individuals attribute success to hard work and determination, while others emphasize factors such as wealth and physical appearance as being more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, it is generally believed that hard
work
 and perseverance can make a person successful, but others believe that wealth and beauty are the most important parts of achievement. In
this
 article, I will review both sides of the argument in search of a conclusion.
First,
there is no doubt that hard
work
 is a positive attitude toward success.
People
 who spend more time working and studying are likely to get better grades because they are focused on what they are doing. And, once goals are set, repeatability is a crucial factor.
For example
, we have observed that famous genius scientists all have a similar quality, which is perseverance because they will experience countless failures and constant attempts in the process of exploring the unknown world.
This
 goal would not have been possible without extensive experimentation. Opponents,
on the other hand
, argue that wealth and appearance may be the primary factors, as our lifestyles have changed dramatically with the trends of materialism and consumerism. Having good luck means being able to buy a big house, receive a better education, and live a high-quality life.
This
 is how some
people
 define "success."
Besides
, being beautiful can
also
 lead to achievements. There are quite a few celebrities,
such
 as actresses and pop stars, who gain attention
due to
 having attractive looks, which gives them the opportunity to gain favour from companies and build a reputation. All in all, hard
work
 can ensure a good future,
while
 money and appearance are
also
 important factors for some
people
. Ultimately, there is no single standard to define achievement. For most ordinary
people
, appearance is not easy to improve, and it is not a normal path to success, but the harder you
work
, the more opportunities you have to achieve something.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure, including a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and states your personal opinion. Aim for a smooth progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
You should fully address the prompt by discussing both views on the concept of success and providing a specific, detailed personal opinion. Ensure that your ideas are comprehensive and that each body paragraph effectively supports your main points with relevant examples and explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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