Some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museums, towns halls and sporting is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
As a result
, there is a growing trend in rebuilding picture galleries and municipal halls. Linking Words
While
some individuals believe that Linking Words
this
is a necessary step, Linking Words
although
it may be expensive, another group claims that it should be replaced with something contemporary. I strongly agree with the former.
On the one hand, some people justifiably agree that preserved local heritage, art galleries, and other places like that should be reconstructed. Linking Words
Although
it may not be cost-effective, it must be done. Indeed, these places play a vital role in enhancing communication and attracting tourists. Linking Words
Therefore
, they help in the flourishing of economics. Linking Words
For example
, my father's village has a historical auditorium, which is valuable considering its architecture. Linking Words
Hence
, the municipality decided to rebuild it even though Linking Words
this
measure was not affordable for residents. After that, more and more tourists visited that place, from which all the inhabitants benefited, and Linking Words
this
place became where villagers gathered for different reasons, which increased their bond.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, another group of people claims that the government should change them with cutting-edge buildings. They insist that spending money on them to rebuild does not make sense. In their view, modern buildings are eco-friendly, and it is more likely to need less energy to protect them. Linking Words
However
, I do not find Linking Words
this
argument convincing, as omitting these historical sites is essential to cultural values and an excellent heritage for future generations. Many exhibitions can be held there, which makes creativity and promotes community. From the point of view of environmentally friendly, thanks to technology, it can remedy Linking Words
this
issue.
In conclusion, rebuilding art galleries and town halls has benefits, Linking Words
such
as enticing tourists, improving financial issues, and enhancing creativity and communication.Linking Words
Submitted by sarataklimi89 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, try to ensure that each paragraph strictly adheres to the main point discussed without delving into too many details that may not be entirely relevant.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to directly address the prompt in the introduction. Although your stance is stated, it can be clearer. Outlining both views briefly in the introduction would provide a stronger structure and clearer understanding for the reader.
task achievement
Even though your examples are personal and specific, which adds a unique flavor to your writing, make sure they directly link back to and support the main argument of the paragraph. Integrate examples more smoothly into your main points.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas to fully cover all aspects of the task prompt. Try to develop each paragraph with more balanced arguments and evidence. This approach will help to strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
You have a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay, and it is evident that you prefer reconstruction of historical buildings over building new ones.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. Each paragraph discusses a specific point of view, and you have a clear separation between the points when you discuss them.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which adds to the overall coherence of your essay.