IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 owning each type of electrical
appliances
Fix the agreement mistake
appliance
show examples
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of weekly
hours
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 doing housework in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners rapidly grew over the period, that of
waching
Correct your spelling
watching
washing
 machines experienced a moderate increase with a small
fructuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
. The amount of time spent on housework showed a significant decline. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of electrical appliances,
although
Linking Words
 nearly 0% of
households
Use synonyms
 had refrigerators in 1920, the figure significantly surged to 90% and 100% in 1960 and 1980 respectively, surpassing other devices. Vacuum cleaners
initially
Linking Words
 started at 30% in 1920,
Correct word choice
but its
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
number
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased to 100% in 2000, making all
households
Use synonyms
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 both vacuum cleaners and refrigerators after that year. Washing machines,
conversely
Linking Words
, began at 40% which was the highest percentage, the
number
Use synonyms
 moderately rose and fluctuated, ending at over 70% which much lower than others. For the amount of time spent doing housework, the
number
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 stood at 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 1920, it sharply dropped to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 1960. The
number
Use synonyms
 continued decreasing to under 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1980,
remaning
Correct your spelling
remaining
 steady
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2000 before slightly falling to around 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week
at the end
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, number, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership of electrical appliances
  • steadily increased
  • dramatically decreased
  • correlating the rise
  • became common
  • households
  • prevalence
  • technological advancements
  • increased affordability
  • household chores
  • labor-saving devices
  • allocated for housework
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