Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent times,
people
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use social
media
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platform
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platforms
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to keep in contact with their family and friends
as well as
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featured
news
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. The pros are
convinence
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convenience
and
accessibilty
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accessibility
and the cons are anxiety and pressure. In my opinion, social
media
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can be disadvantageous as compared to its merits. Various
media
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platforms are being used, by
people
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to stay connected with their circle.
For example
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, youngsters studying in aboard, love to stay connected with their loved ones by posting their images and experiences; they
also
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watch
news
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in
form
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the form
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of short videos or reels.
This
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is easy and accessible for all. Evidently, millions of
people
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have access to mobile devices that
allows
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allow
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them to stay up to date about current situations.
Further
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,
people
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using social applications have been trending
range
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a range
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of vibrating
lifestlye
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lifestyles
on their feeds.
For example
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, friends engaging in adventurous activities, tour
bloggs
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blogs
, short
crimes
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crime
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videos or
news
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, can be exciting but on
contrary
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the contrary
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, it can have a
deterimental
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detrimental
impact on
people
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who are constantly looking for validation or trying to fit in.
Consequently
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, it
isolated
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isolates
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many individuals and creates not only pressure to showcase
good
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a good
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lifestyle but
also
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anxiety about how to meet those standards. On the whole, social networking can
outweight
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outweigh
the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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at various stages.
Although
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people
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staying connected through
media
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can be easier.
However
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, it can appear realistic and convincing at
first,
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but most of the information
upload
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uploaded
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are
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is
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superficial and unreliable, which can lead to misinterpretation of
ones
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one's
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life or incomplete
news
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feeds leading to misjudgement that can cause political differences.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas to present a clearer viewpoint. For instance, expand on the impact of anxiety and pressure with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain overall clarity and coherence between paragraphs. Use linking words to connect ideas more smoothly.
langauge accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and word choice, such as 'convenience' instead of 'convinence' and 'detrimental' instead of 'deterimental.'
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion that social media can be disadvantageous, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your arguments, which is beneficial for the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
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