In the future it may be necessary for us to live on another planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Living on another planet may not be a story after decades. Even some individuals believe that humans should spend
money
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exploring
planets
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right now. It is completely agreed that spending
money
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to find
planets
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now is necessary. Analyzing the incapability of exploring
planets
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nowadays,
as well as
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the limitation in the fiscal reserve of countries,
as well as
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the limitation in the ethical problems, will prove
this
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.
Firstly
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, the government would lack sufficient
money
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to develop an exploration program.
For instance
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, it is widely known that authorities need not only to manufacture spacecraft to be sure that spacemen can find a suitable planet but
also
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to build launching sites to satisfy the demand for launching. Unfortunately,
this
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is a task
government
Correct article usage
the government
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will be incapable of carrying out.
Therefore
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,
this
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makes it clear that finding a new home in the cosmos will never be supported.
Secondly
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, the exploring process of spacemen would send them to unknown regions in the cosmos, which may incur social condemnations.
For instance
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, the government cannot ensure their life security in the cosmos.
This
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is a problem.
Thus
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it becomes apparent that exploration will never be supported in the modern day. To summarize, exploring extra
planets
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does not have the necessary support.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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the idea of spending
money
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to explore
planets
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cannot be supported. After a thorough analysis of
this
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subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over
this
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thesis will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of
this
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, spending on exploration will never be passed right now.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear position, but it could be more concise. Additionally, ensure that your thesis statement directly addresses the prompt for stronger clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Transition words and phrases could enhance the flow between points. Consider using words like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', or 'In conclusion' to improve smoothness in reading.
task achievement
You make some valid points, but including counterarguments would strengthen your essay. This could demonstrate critical thinking and enhance your task achievement score.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extraterrestrial colonization
  • space exploration
  • technological innovation
  • sustainable living
  • environmental degradation
  • celestial bodies
  • astrobiology
  • international collaboration
  • economic stimulus
  • STEM education
  • overpopulation
  • resource depletion
  • scientific discovery
  • habitable planets
  • space research funding
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