Many young people say that mobile phones are the most important object that they own. Does the popularity of mobile phones among young people have more advantages or disadvantages?

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Nowadays, sophisticated technology provides a lot of conveniences for human working,

for instance

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, a mobile phone can give many things anywhere and anytime. In the young generation, a mobile phone is the most important object that they own. The popularity of handphones has more advantages among youth,

while

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there are several disadvantages brought by

this

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trend. Looking first at the benefits,

this

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device makes many jobs become easier.

Firstly

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, communities can communicate with each other by the online applications provided by phones,

such

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as WhatsApp, Messenger, and Social Media. They can talk long distances through voice calls and video calls.

Secondly

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, the workers can create hybrid meetings on their own devices to discuss a problem. They should not meet directly, they can meet anywhere by online meeting platforms.

Thirdly

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, they can share anything by online chat,

such

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as presentation documents, papers, pictures, and videos to support details for their tasks.

Moreover

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, they can access various information wherever and whenever from the Internet to create an assignment.

On the other hand

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, there are some drawbacks offered by

this

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condition.

For example

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, the accessibility of information from the Internet creates a lot of crimes in plagiarism. There is no protection in the sources of data. People can copy and paste anything from the Website without knowing the original references.

In addition

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, sometimes personal details

also

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can be accessed through the Internet. It is a danger for citizens

Remove the comma

apply

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because many criminals use society's data for their personal goals. In conclusion, mobiles are now extremely crucial for human living. It provides obvious positive changes to their lives,

such

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as more efficiency in work.

However

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, it brings several dangers for communities.

imeldarosari6Sun Mar 30 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider adding more detailed examples to illustrate your points. For instance, when discussing communication apps, you could mention specific scenarios where they have made a difference.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your arguments are balanced. While you present good advantages, make sure to elaborate on the disadvantages with equal strength in your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing. This can help maintain reader engagement and clarify your ideas.

Task Achievement

You effectively outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in comprehension.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
instant messaging
social media
access to information
entertainment options
addiction
mental health
face-to-face interactions
distraction
academic performance
productivity
privacy
security
personal information
misuse

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Many young people say that mobile phones are the most important object that they own. Does the popularity of mobile phones among young people have more advantages or disadvantages?

Your opinion

Technology has benefits or not. Discuss both views.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agrede or disagree?

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they are born. what might be the reasons for this? what are the advantages and disadvantages

the amount of rubbish produced is increasing rapidly. What are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can be implemented to solve this issue?