IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

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It is true that the issue of
tourism
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 has become arguable nowadays.
While
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 a number of people say that
tourism
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 has a positive impact in various ways, others believe that it has a few drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 phenomenon. On the one hand, there are a number of merits to
tourism
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, which can obtain any
tourist
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 destination in the world. One of the most advantageous sides is that it helps to improve a country’s national and local economies, which is possible
due to
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 the spending of travellers on local services.
For example
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, the majority of tourists who are from outside use the services of
tourist
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 places,
such
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 as accommodation, food, and transportation;
therefore
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, they need to pay for these.
As a result
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, the economy of a
tourist
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 destination obtains benefits. What is more,
tourism
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 provides numerous job opportunities for the local masses. With increasing tourists, the demand for hotel and restaurant staff, tour guides, and new businesses increases, so they assign many employees.
On the other hand
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,
tourism
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also
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 has numerous drawbacks
due to
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 a number of factors. The main downside is the destruction of
tourist
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 destinations, which occurs for
travelers
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travellers
show examples
.
For instance
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, most
tourist
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 attractions, namely museums, statues, old buildings, zoos, and so on, face problems coping with the vast majority of travellers, and
this
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 is because these places have the threat of destruction.
Secondly
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,
tourism
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 can cause criminal activities
such
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 as robbery, stealing, and harassment. Travellers convey cameras, jewellery, and money for spending, which attract offenders for criminal activities. In conclusion,
although
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tourism
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 has both advantages and disadvantages for a country, Having considered both sides, I think the conveniences of
this
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 outweigh the demerits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure, which can involve using clearer topic sentences and concise paragraphing to better guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present and serve their purposes effectively. The introduction should clearly state the topic and provide an overview of the essay's structure while the conclusion should definitively summarize the discussion and restate the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is elaborated with specific details or examples.
task achievement
Provide a complete response to the task prompt that includes all necessary components. Your essay should address all parts of the question and present a clear position throughout the entire response.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas that are pertinent to the essay topic. Ideas should be expanded on thoroughly, showing depth and complexity of thought.
task achievement
Use relevant examples that are specific and effectively support the writer's points. General or vague examples detract from the strength of the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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