Many young people say that mobile phones are the most important object that they own. Does the popularity of mobile phones among young people have more advantages or disadvantages?

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In recent years, with the development of technology in many industries mobile phones started to create a lot of conveniences for humans, especially for the younger population. These items take place as an identity among individuals,
while
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there are several benefits of using the phones for easier communication between people and drawbacks to their own personal information brought by
this
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trend. I believe that the benefits of using mobile devices outweigh the disadvantages. One major benefit of
this
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device is that it makes communication more functional and convenient among users.
Firstly
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, communities can communicate with each other by the online platforms provided by phones.
For example
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, the application of WhatsApp helps to create a suitable platform for long-distance conversations through voice calls and video calls.
Secondly
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, the workers can form hybrid meetings on their own devices to discuss their own personal experiences. They do not need to meet directly, they can meet anywhere and anytime by online meeting platforms
such
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as Zoom. Not only do they have a wide variety of services but
also
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,
they
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but they
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can
also
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share anything via online chat,
such
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as presentation documents, papers, pictures, and videos to support details for their tasks.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages offered by
this
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condition. The accessibility of information wherever and whenever creates a lot of crimes in terms of plagiarism.
For example
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,
while
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writing an essay, there is no protection in the sources of data, in which people can copy and paste any information from the website without knowing the original references.
In addition
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to
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, sometimes personal details
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can be accessed through the Internet, so because of the phone. It is a danger for citizens
,
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because many criminals use society's data for their personal goals. In conclusion, mobile devices now play a crucial role for human beings.
Besides
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, it provides obvious positive changes to their lives,
such
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as more efficiency in communication and work.
However
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, it brings up several issues and dangers for communities.
Consequently
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,
this
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trend has more positive impacts than negative effects.

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task achievement
Introductions should provide a clear overview of the main points you will discuss in the essay, giving the reader a better expectation of the content.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas in each paragraph are logically ordered and transition smoothly to improve coherence.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples that clearly illustrate the disadvantages you've mentioned, as this will strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument that favors the advantages of mobile phones, aligning well with the prompt.
task achievement
You have made good use of examples, such as WhatsApp and Zoom, to illustrate the benefits of mobile phones for communication and work.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • instant messaging
  • social media
  • access to information
  • entertainment options
  • addiction
  • mental health
  • face-to-face interactions
  • distraction
  • academic performance
  • productivity
  • privacy
  • security
  • personal information
  • misuse
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