It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who don’t have large amounts of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and include relevant examples.

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Keeping body fit is simpler for rich

people

Use synonyms

rather than

individuals

Change preposition

for individuals

show examples

who do not have enough

curency

Correct your spelling

currency

. I believe

this

Linking Words

is totally right because wealthy

people

Use synonyms

have

acccess

Correct your spelling

access

to quality healthcare and financial stability to buy expensive fitness products. One of the reasons, why rich

people

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are sucessful

show examples

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

in maintaining good

health

Use synonyms

is because of

availability

Correct article usage

the availability

show examples

of expensive treatments. As compared to poor

people

Use synonyms

, they can easily get doctors.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they can travel worldwide

for finding

Change preposition

to find

show examples

best

Add an article

the best

show examples

solution for their

health

Use synonyms

problems.

As a result

Linking Words

, they can make themselves able to live longer.

For example

Linking Words

, it can be normally seen that actors

looks

Change the verb form

look

show examples

more younger than their actual age

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

of costly surgeries and operations.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, having more money means they can

purchage

Correct your spelling

purchase

high

values

Replace the word

valued

show examples

products

such

Linking Words

as protein, multivitamins and so on.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they are less worried about work and family responsibilities. they can afford expensive

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

for

excerise

Correct your spelling

exercise

which might not be possible in the case of individuals who do not have

large

Change the article

a large

show examples

amount of money.

Therefore

Linking Words

, rich

people

Use synonyms

usually

looks

Correct subject-verb agreement

look

show examples

Use synonyms

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

and fit and keep themselves

disesase

Correct your spelling

disease

free.

For example

Linking Words

, a study

conduct

Wrong verb form

conducted

show examples

by Oxford University found that wealthy person

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

less chance of death because of poor

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

rather

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

middle class

Add a hyphen

middle-class

show examples

public as they have more resources and time to spend on their

health

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

everyone can keep themselves

Use synonyms

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

and fit by doing

excerise

Correct your spelling

exercise

and eating healthy food, rich individuals are highly able to perform all these tasks.

manojkansal30Mon Mar 31 2025

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task achievement

Expand on your main ideas with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical flow between your ideas. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Revise for spelling and grammatical errors to present a more polished piece of writing.

task achievement

The essay clearly states a position in response to the prompt and presents supporting arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The structure is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

affluent
financial hurdles
routine check-ups
specialized treatments
organic foods
processed foods
personal nutritionists
gym memberships
personal trainers
leisure time
stress management
financial stability
vacations
spa treatments
therapies
clean air
water pollution
noise pollution
financial insecurity
healthier environments

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It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who don’t have large amounts of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and include relevant examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

in the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?