It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who don’t have large amounts of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and include relevant examples.

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Keeping body fit is simpler for rich
people
Use synonyms
rather than
individuals
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for individuals
show examples
who do not have enough
curency
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currency
. I believe
this
Linking Words
is totally right because wealthy
people
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have
acccess
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access
to quality healthcare and financial stability to buy expensive fitness products. One of the reasons, why rich
people
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Add a missing verb
are sucessful
show examples
sucessful
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successful
in maintaining good
health
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is because of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
of expensive treatments. As compared to poor
people
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, they can easily get doctors.
Moreover
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, they can travel worldwide
for finding
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to find
show examples
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
solution for their
health
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problems.
As a result
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, they can make themselves able to live longer.
For example
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, it can be normally seen that actors
looks
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look
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more younger than their actual age
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
of costly surgeries and operations.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, having more money means they can
purchage
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purchase
high
values
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valued
show examples
products
such
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as protein, multivitamins and so on.
Apart from
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this
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, they are less worried about work and family responsibilities. they can afford expensive
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
for
excerise
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exercise
which might not be possible in the case of individuals who do not have
large
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a large
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amount of money.
Therefore
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, rich
people
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usually
looks
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look
show examples
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
and fit and keep themselves
disesase
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disease
free.
For example
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, a study
conduct
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conducted
show examples
by Oxford University found that wealthy person
have
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has
show examples
less chance of death because of poor
heath
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health
show examples
rather
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then
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than
show examples
middle class
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middle-class
show examples
public as they have more resources and time to spend on their
health
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.
To conclude
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,
Although
Linking Words
everyone can keep themselves
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health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
and fit by doing
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
and eating healthy food, rich individuals are highly able to perform all these tasks.

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task achievement
Expand on your main ideas with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow between your ideas. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Revise for spelling and grammatical errors to present a more polished piece of writing.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position in response to the prompt and presents supporting arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affluent
  • financial hurdles
  • routine check-ups
  • specialized treatments
  • organic foods
  • processed foods
  • personal nutritionists
  • gym memberships
  • personal trainers
  • leisure time
  • stress management
  • financial stability
  • vacations
  • spa treatments
  • therapies
  • clean air
  • water pollution
  • noise pollution
  • financial insecurity
  • healthier environments
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