Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Indeed, the effects of competitive athletics have long been contradictory among many people, whether it brings positive contributions to the education of adolescents or the opposite. I believe that despite its potential to backfire among players, the critical thinking that may occur during games may offer more benefits. On the one hand, extreme competitiveness may create the possibility of rivalry, thereby diminishing the teenagers’ ability to work effectively in group settings.

For instance

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, in inter-school competitions, pupils often strive to represent their schools with the highest honour, which can result in heightened stress levels and unnecessary pressure.

Additionally

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, the pressure creates an atmosphere of intense competition. If

this

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is not accompanied by a supportive environment, conflict may occur.

Moreover

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, individuals might become preoccupied with winning at all costs, which can breed resentment, cause them to lose sight of important values, and give rise to

this

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mindset of rivalry in other areas of life.

On the other hand

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, sports with a high level of competitiveness will teach students to employ some sort of meticulous strategy by which they can develop strategic thinking and problem-solving skills.

For example

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, in tennis, players must employ fast and simultaneously thoughtful decisions to outwit their opponents, which in turn enhances their ability to analyse situations.

This

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analytical mindset extends beyond the sports field, as pupils can apply the same skills in academic settings and in their daily lives. Through these experiences, individuals gain grit, discipline, and the ability to handle setbacks, qualities that are vital for their personal and educational development.

To sum up

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, the high competitive spirit has both positive and negative aspects.

While

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it can lead to devastating issues for the educational context and potential stress, it

also

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teaches valuable skills like strategic thinking and resilience, which help students overcome challenges.

vikavika024Tue Apr 01 2025

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Task Achievement

You expressed your opinion clearly, but providing a more definitive conclusion reiterating your viewpoint could enhance the response.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your ideas are generally clear, ensuring that each paragraph elaborates more on the main point before moving on would improve the overall development of ideas.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your use of examples, such as tennis and inter-school competitions, effectively illustrates your points and shows clear connections to your argument.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote a healthier lifestyle
valuable life skills
mental focus
teamwork and communication
time management
stress relief
neglecting academics
intense pressure
physical injuries
mental stress
time commitment
fear of failure
emotional well-being
academic performance
balancing sports and academics

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Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects?