IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Deforestation is considered one of the major environmental problems. What are the causes and effects of deforestation?

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One of the worrying trends in modern society is that many of the world’s great
forests
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 are threatened by
deforestation
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.
This
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 occurs for several reasons; trees are massively used as raw materials and cleared land is used for agricultural activities. The main detrimental effects of
this
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 are climate change and damage to animal habitats. The main causes of
deforestation
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 are industrial logging by big companies and commercial farming by local people. For companies, they capitalize on natural resources to make a profit, as trees can be used in construction, furniture and even fuel to make a profit.
For instance
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, industrial logging is still being carried out in China to make traditional tales and chairs. For local people, they need to clear up an area just enough to graze cattle and grow plants. A typical example can be found in Gansu, where trees are cut down for planting vines. One serious effect of
deforestation
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 is climate change. Normally, tropical rainforests help control the earth’s temperature by absorbing carbon dioxide.
Nevertheless
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, in areas where forest destruction has taken place, increasing carbon dioxide goes into the atmosphere and traps more heat in a process called the greenhouse effect.
This
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 results in global warming and extreme weather events
such
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 as heat waves and storms. Apart from climate change,
deforestation
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also
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 has an advert effect on biodiversity.
Deforestation
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 causes the loss of habitats and damage to land where animals and plants live, leading to the extinction of some species. A case in point is that the golden toad was
a
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apply
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native to the cloud
forests
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 of Costa Rica, which went extinct in the late 1980s primarily
due to
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 habitat loss from
deforestation
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. In conclusion, commercial logging and farming have taken a heavy toll on
forests
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, and it in turn gives rise to global warming and reduction of biodiversity. Looking to the future, governments and individuals should make great efforts to protect
forests
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.
Otherwise
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, on
such
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 a large scale is surely a recipe for disaster.

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Coherence
Some parts of your writing could be more closely linked to improve coherence. Consider using more transitional words and phrases to show the relationship between your ideas.
Task Response
Elaborate slightly more on the impact of biodiversity loss, mentioning secondary effects or larger environmental implications.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph sticks closely to one main idea and fully explores it before moving on, using clear topic sentences.
Task Response
The essay clearly addresses both causes and effects of deforestation with well-supported examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the issue, creating a strong structure around your arguments.
Task Response
You've provided relevant and specific examples that help illustrate and strengthen your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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