IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

5. Chitra - Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

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Many
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 start to think about
pets
Use synonyms
 especially dogs which have various beneficial results
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
based on research data
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example,
secure
Wrong verb form
securing
show examples
 house from their sense, or making
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 and liveliness in their home.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
opposite sides that may affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family members like, unhealthy
pets
Use synonyms
, or furniture damaged.
Hence
Linking Words
, each family should be
awared
Correct your spelling
awarded
aware
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both sides particularly
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
 have children. Basically, most people who
keeping
Change the form of the verb
keep
show examples
pets
Use synonyms
 have sufficient income to take care
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
 which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 have cleanliness and joyful
pets
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 hiring
Use synonyms
pets'
Change noun form
pets
show examples
 teacher to help reduce their harmful interaction. From all of that, these groups will have not faced the issues since they started
pets
Use synonyms
. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, we can see in
generally
Change the word
general
show examples
 that
pets
Use synonyms
 can be taught and ordered in some situations that
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 helpful to people or children
such
Linking Words
 as crossing the road, medical, or security part.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people who trust in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative way,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might see from various social media news that
pets
Use synonyms
 attack to owner or anonymous person which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them have
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of fear and avoidance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having
pets
Use synonyms
 will increase their monthly cost
as well as
Linking Words
 the living space of their home. So, they choose to unkeep them.
Finally
Linking Words
, both sides have either advantages
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 disadvantages which are not suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone. In my opinion, if we have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good preparation and enough money, we can pet without any concerns.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, unwell plans and insufficient incomes will cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
terrible results.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. A clearer thesis statement can help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that sentences logically flow from one to the next. Use linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific instances of how pets have positively or negatively affected families.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and presented both sides of the argument, which is essential in a discussion essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your language shows a good range of vocabulary, which enhances your writing overall.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • companionship
  • empathy
  • coping skills
  • physical activity
  • allergies
  • asthma
  • infections
  • parasites
  • emotional support
  • financial resources
  • time commitment
What to do next:
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