IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. Do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of whether we should attempt to preserve endangered
animals
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 or not is heated these days.
While
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 some people said that it would be a waste of time and a huge amount of resources to save them, others have opposed them. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why is it vital to save these animal species. Two of the principal reasons for
this
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 are as follows. First of all, it is a significant case that every animal has their own role in the balance of the ecosystem. Humans should consider that if some of these species are extinct, the earth will face imbalance.
Moreover
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, men are responsible for the sake of the universe. So, they should put a lot of hard work into saving endangered animal's habitats. It is an obvious
fact
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 that we disrupted or even ruined the extreme number of habitats in nature for our own convenience.
Hence
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, everyone should accept the consequences and try to improve their natural habitat.
Further
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 and even more importantly, though, the history of mankind has shown the
fact
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 that they caused a huge number of destructive habitats, and involved in the death of various
animals
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.
In addition
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, there were a lot of problems when humans tried to alter some of the
animals
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' environments.
For instance
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, Europeans who migrated to Australia had taken some rabbits with them. The result was a disaster
due to
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 insufficient amount of food for them. Admittedly, it is an obvious
fact
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 that every life has precious value and it is on our shoulders to repay the problems that we have brought to the ecosystem. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that society should work hard to reduce the chance of extinction of those species that are in endangered points. They have to obligate the
fact
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 that they are responsible for the environment around them and the conservation of
animals
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your points clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position unequivocally to set a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
You successfully highlighted the importance of ecosystems and the role animals play in maintaining balance, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively restates your main position, providing a clear summary of your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • extinction
  • preserve
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • ecological roles
  • conservation efforts
  • scientific discoveries
  • advancements
  • cultural value
  • aesthetic value
  • employment opportunities
  • local economies
  • ethical responsibility
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