IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Some people believe that
animals
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 should not be in experiments and law should protect them,
while
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 others argue that essential scientific breakthroughs require
animals
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 in their processes.
This
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 essay will explain that
experimentation
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 on
animals
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 should be justified because there are no options that can simulate experimental outcomes as effectively as using
animals
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.
Animals
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 should be a part of
experimentation
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 legally with clear limitations and scopes. To protect randomly picked
animals
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, the regulator can impose policies that clarify which
animals
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 or species are allowed to use. Labs must
also
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 grow their specimens with a clear objective of experimenting, decreasing the probability of killing
animals
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 from other sources.
This
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 should be treated in the same way as
animal
Add an article
an animal
the animal
show examples
 farm that feeds
animals
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 to
food
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the food
show examples
 industry. By having clarity of scopes and limitations, no random lives will be harmed unexpectedly. Even if using
animals
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 in
experimentation
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 sounds terrifying, it is undeniable that there are no better alternatives which can reflect the effects
from
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of
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 experiments as precisely as using
animals
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.
Animals
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 are the most similar species to humans;
therefore
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, results from laboratories can be implied as possible results on humans. Without trying on
animals
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 and directly experimenting on individuals, more severe issues can happen, probably leading to massive fatalities.
For example
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, if vaccines have not been tried on
animals
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 before, doctors cannot realize their side effects.
This
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 can
finally
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 cause unintentional diseases. In conclusion, some people think that it is not right to experiment on
animals
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 and it should be regulated.
However
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, I think
experimentation
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 on
animals
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 can be done under reasonable policies, limiting species to be used and the way that laboratories get them.
Although
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 there are many choices to do experimentations,
animals
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 are the best option that cannot be replaced because they are similar to humans and the effects on them can reflect the real outcomes of experiments.

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task achievement
The introduction presents the argument effectively, but it could be more engaging and provide a clearer thesis statement outlining the main points to be discussed.
task achievement
Consider adding more detailed examples or statistics to support your arguments, particularly regarding the efficacy of animal testing compared to alternatives.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ensure clear transitions between your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is fully explored and concluded before moving to the next point.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and maintains a consistent viewpoint throughout.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, with clear paragraphs tackling distinct aspects of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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