IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that during teenage
years
Use synonyms
 are the happiest time of their lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of them think that
adult
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 are happier time, despite
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 more responsibilities.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will describe these two views based on my opinion. First of all,
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
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years
Use synonyms
 are the time
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 do not think about their lives. They usually just study and play with friends without responsible concerns,
for example
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, getting
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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, or finding jobs.
Furthermore
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, during these
years
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, there are some negative sides as well
such
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 as, have not enough freedom
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 or
elder
Fix the agreement mistake
elders
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, cannot make money by themselves, or
too
Add a missing verb
being too
show examples
 young to do
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
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 like
alchohol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
, or smoking. Which these interactions can do in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
Use synonyms
 times. These
years
Use synonyms
 are the period that you have the most
freedom's
Change preposition
freedom in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 including
can get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 money by
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
yourself
show examples
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can do whatever they want,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have greater duties to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
,
Change preposition
of, for
show examples
for instance
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, search appropriate jobs,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care
their
Change preposition
of their
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 parents, or
keep getting
Verb problem
keeping
show examples
yourselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 healthy
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 surrounding of intoxication areas.
Therefore
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, not everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 efficient times during
adult
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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, each step of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 have both advantages and disadvantages
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we cannot receive the happiest times
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 of
the
Change the word
our
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Moreover
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, we are unable to choose the most
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
 durations, in spite
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
 memories in each period
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 better to make
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar for clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clearer distinction between the two views to enhance logical flow.
task achievement
You have identified both views on the topic and attempted to provide your opinion, which shows an understanding of the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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