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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
percantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of the residents aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in the
USA
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
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 and
Japan
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.
Overall
Linking Words
 , it is clearly seen that
Use synonyms
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 population increased significantly after 2020.
However
Linking Words
 , the
USA
Use synonyms
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
show examples
 stable between 2000 and 2020. İn 1940 ,
Use synonyms
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 seniors
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
than
Change preposition
by than
show examples
 other countries,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 5%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 ,the
USA
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 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 were approximately 10% and 7% respectively.
Use synonyms
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 old population
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased slightly from 1940 to 1960 but other nations gradually
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 15%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
Change preposition
in
show examples
two decade
Add a hyphen
two-decade
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
two-year
show examples
 period starting in 1960 ,
Japans
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 age society
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
 stable. İn 2000 ,
Japan
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 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 were slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, with 5% and 15% respectively.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
Usa
Correct your spelling
US
 remained stable at about 15% between 2000 and 2020.
Use synonyms
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 senior inhabitants sharply increased
after
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2020 to 2040,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 approximately 27%. At that time
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased gradually to 25% and about 23% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, sweden, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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