IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

RM4 Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Some people think
teenagers
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 should be required to do unpaid
community
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work
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 in their free time. They believe it will benefit both
teenagers
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 and the
community
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.
However
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,
Correct your spelling
this
tihs
Correct your spelling
this
 essay
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 with
this
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 idea, because it has several superior sides like improving
teenagers
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' skills On one hand,
community
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work
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 can
useful
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be useful
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 for
teenagers
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. It helps them to learn important life skills like communication, teamwork and leadership. These skills will help them in the future.
Also
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 when
teenagers
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 help others, they can feel good about themselves. It teaches them to be more responsible and caring.
Additionally
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, the
community
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 can benefit from their
work
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,
such
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 as by cleaning parks, helping the elderly, or working at charity events.
This
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 would make the
community
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 a better place for everyone.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 a teenager who spends time helping elderly people with daily tasks may feel a sense of accomplishment and develop empathy.
On the other hand
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,
teenagers
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 may
to
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apply
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do unpaid
work
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 may have some drawbacks.
Teenagers
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 already have a lot of things to do, like studying or after-school activities. If they are forced to do
community
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work
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, it could cause stress and take up time they need for relaxation or hobbies.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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teenagers
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 might not enjoy the
work
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 and could resent being made to do it. When something is compulsory, it is no longer a choice, and the desire to help others can be lost. Volunteering should be done because someone wants to, not because they are forced to. In conclusion,
while
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 unpaid
community
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work
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 can bring benefits, it should not be compulsory.
Teenagers
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 should be encouraged to participate, but it should be their choice, allowing them to have a positive and voluntary experience.

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language
Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct word forms. For example, 'community work can useful' should be 'community work can be useful' and 'teenagers may to do unpaid work' should be 'teenagers required to do unpaid work.'
coherence
Provide clearer transitions between ideas. Consider using linking phrases to enhance the flow, such as 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' to introduce additional points.
task achievement
Expand on the drawbacks of compulsory community work. Providing examples or elaborating on the potential negative impacts on teenagers’ mental health could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and shows consideration of both sides of the argument, which is a strong aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the teenager helping the elderly, effectively illustrate your points and enhance understanding of the benefits of community work.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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