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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at companies or organisation as part of their programme. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of course requirement?

It is undeniable that the issue of whether certain tertiary courses should require
students
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 to undertake unpaid
work
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 at companies or organisations as part of their programmes has sparked considerable controversy. Despite the views held by some that these unpaid internships offer substantial benefits, I maintain a contrasting stance. On the one hand, the merits of including unpaid
work
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 in academic programmes are multifaceted, particularly concerning personal development.
For instance
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, engaging in authentic
work
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 environments significantly enhances
students
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' competencies, including both systematic academic knowledge and practical skills. A case in point is a study conducted by Hong Kong University, which underscores that firsthand experience in real-world job settings fosters civic awareness and social responsibility.
This
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 finding has ignited widespread public interest and debate, illustrating the undeniable advantages of practical
work
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 experience.
On the other hand
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, the imposition of unpaid
work
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 carries distinct disadvantages,
such
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 as the potential for time conflicts. Specifically,
students
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 may be forced to juggle academic obligations with paid employment necessary for their financial sustenance.
Moreover
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, compulsory participation in
such
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 unpaid internships can engender resentment among
students
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, possibly dampening their enthusiasm for the broader curriculum. The most pressing concern,
however
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, is the absence of financial compensation for
students
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 who dedicate substantial time to these positions without remuneration. In conclusion,
while
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 acknowledging the inherent value of incorporating unpaid
work
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 into tertiary courses, it is my firm belief that the disadvantages, particularly the financial strain on
students
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, outweigh the advantages. It is crucial for educational institutions to strike a balance that acknowledges the importance of practical experience
while
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also
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 safeguarding
students
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' rights and well-being.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding a few more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points further. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This can help strengthen coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion effectively, presenting a clear view of your stance on the contentious issue.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, showing a thoughtful understanding of the topic and balancing the advantages and disadvantages well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary courses
  • unpaid internships
  • practical skills
  • work experience
  • networking opportunities
  • organizational culture
  • financial strain
  • exploitation
  • menial tasks
  • career guidance
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