IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that communication by using computers and phones will have side effects on young people’s writing and reading skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The evolution of technologies
have
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has
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 been impacted
to
Change preposition
apply
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various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of things, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication by using computers or
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 which are easier and more
efficiency
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efficient
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 compared to the past times.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that there are side effects on
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation's writing and reading skills.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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extented
Correct your spelling
extend
 the story of technology development and
the
Change the word
its
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 effects
to
Change preposition
on
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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. In
recently
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recent
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 years,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers and
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 have been used either studying or working in general which
help
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helps
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 to get better results in each
tasks
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task
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, Students or workers have used development
system
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systems
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,like, Microsoft applications, AI generations, or Alternative websites, to improve
their
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the
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 performance which belong to their electronic
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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.
Hence
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, with the benefits of technology,
this
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 has become widely used in all industries. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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, there are negative affectation from
this
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 thing, even though it has a huge usefulness to people.
For instance
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, reducing
of
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apply
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manual skills like writing or reading, decreasing
of
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apply
show examples
communication with colleagues or friends, or avoiding
to learn
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learning
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 deeply
on
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about
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 each
tasks
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task
show examples
. From all that has been said, It would be slightly dropped the main
human's
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human
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 interaction and replaced with system processing,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
 jobs which are the most impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there are a lot of benefits to help
enhanement
Correct your spelling
enhancement
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
performance, the side effects
also
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 need to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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in
Change preposition
of in
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 the long run.
Thus
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, people should use these technologies with awareness and
concerns
Fix the agreement mistake
concern
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
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 the disadvantages
results
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and results
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.

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to clearly outline your position on the topic and to clearly indicate the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-developed and supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your sentences and the use of grammar and vocabulary to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
The use of examples like Microsoft applications and AI generations is a positive aspect, showing relevance to technology in communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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