Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth.

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While
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some individuals believe that governments should spend money looking for
life
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on other
planets
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, others argue that
this
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is a waste of public money when there are so many issues on Earth. I partially agree with the latter suggestion because looking for
life
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on other
planets
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might make it possible for individuals to inhabit other
planets
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during mankind's extinction periods.
However
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, space exploration is expensive and that capital can be used to solve global issues
such
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as poverty, gender quality and climate change.
To begin
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with, humans have undergone a massive evolution that has enabled them to use natural resources for their betterment.
However
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, with careless use of technology, humans have consumed a significant proportion of these fossil fuels and in the near future, fossil fuels are predicted to deplete by 2050. In the following case, space exploration can enable individuals to migrate to a different planet with an abundance of resources to survive.
Additionally
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, spending capital to look for
life
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on other
planets
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also
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enhances our understanding of science and allows scientists to figure out different techniques to carry out already existing processes with greater efficiency.
On the contrary
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, looking for
life
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only serves as a hope for mankind to survive during their extinction periods and it is
also
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possible that humans will never be able to migrate to a different planet.
Due to
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the following notion, people argue that the government should use the money to fix problems on the Earth. These public funds can be used to enhance international relations between countries to bring global peace by bringing a stop to war and nationwide crimes.
Moreover
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, funds can be used to tackle environmental problems
such
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as global warming and the greenhouse effect. Solutions to these would prevent glaciers from melting ultimately, preventing coastal cities from sinking as no additional water enters the oceans, thereby maintaining sea level. In conclusion, I believe that space exploration is more essential as the Earth would eventually run of out coal and other non-renewable sources of energy that currently power most everyday applications. As these resources deplete, exploring alternatives is becoming more crucial and prevalent.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be strengthened by clearly outlining both sides of the argument and stating the writer's position more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Consider using more transition phrases to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and data. For instance, when discussing the depletion of fossil fuels, you could cite studies or reports to lend credibility to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument before stating a personal opinion, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
The vocabulary used is varied and appropriate for the topic, showing a good range of language.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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