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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, an increasing number of Vietnamese students study in foreign countries. Some people believe that studying abroad is considered a life-transforming opportunity for many students; others argue that there are numerous challenges awaiting them. Write an essay to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

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It is a fact that education plays an important role in our lives. Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about studying abroad. Some people subscribe to the view that studying in foreign
countries
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 is a life-transforming opportunity,
while
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 others support the argument that it has numerous challenges for
students
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. The following essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of studying overseas. On the one hand, there are some reasons why people say that studying abroad has several benefits for
students
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’ futures. The first merit of
this
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 issue is that it enhances international
students
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’ knowledge.
For example
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, studying in foreign nations is a great opportunity for learners to have a deeper understanding of the traditions and cultures of these
countries
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. The second benefit of studying overseas would be that it improves
students
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’ career prospects in the future.
This
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 is because
students
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 will get better jobs in foreign corporations and enhance their competitive ability
as well as
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 earn a lot more money if they have international degrees.
Therefore
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, studying overseas is a fantastic chance for many
students
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 to transform their lives.
On the other hand
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, despite the aforementioned benefits, there are some drawbacks of studying in foreign
countries
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 that should be taken into consideration. The first demerit of
this
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 problem is that it puts a financial burden on individuals and their families.
For instance
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, living costs
as well as
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 tuition fees in developed
countries
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 are much more expensive than studying in Vietnam. The second drawback of studying overseas is that it has a negative impact on
students
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’ mental health.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
students
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 can encounter culture shock and language barriers if they are unable to adapt to new surroundings. It can lead to suffering from depression and anxiety disorders.
Hence
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,
this
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 problem may bring several challenges to
students
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.
To sum up
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, studying abroad has both pros and cons.
However
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, as far as I am concerned,
students
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 should choose the most suitable and effective way for themselves. Only by doing so can we ensure that they will have better, healthier and more prosperous lives.

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content
While your introduction clearly states the essay's intention and provides a balanced view, you might want to clarify the points you will be discussing in the body paragraphs to enhance clarity.
structure
To improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases between ideas to guide readers more smoothly through your argumentation. For example, using 'Moreover' or 'Additionally' can enhance your flow.
content
In your body paragraphs, while you do discuss benefits and drawbacks, expanding on your examples and providing more specific details or personal anecdotes could make your points even more compelling.
content
Your essay presents a clear argument and effectively discusses both sides of the issue.
structure
You effectively summarize both the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad in your conclusion, reinforcing your discussion points well.
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