IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that to be a successful sportsman, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, many popular
sportmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sportsman
 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
discussed
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
being successful must
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a natural ability or hard working and
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
. Some people believe
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
 personal traits are the significant factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
be
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
a talented athletes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a talented athlete
talented athletes
show examples
,
other
Correct word choice
while other
show examples
 sides think that
numurous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 of practice hours
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success in each sport competition.
This
Linking Words
 essay will provide alternative
Use synonyms
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views to see deeper
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 each statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some famous athletes have been
showed
Change the verb form
showing
shown
show examples
 their natural abilities in competition,
for example
Linking Words
,
Usian
Correct your spelling
Usain
 Bolt,
the
Correct pronoun usage
who the
show examples
 gold medal
100
Change preposition
in 100
show examples
m running in
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
 games,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is an excellent model of personality skills
both
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inhuman physical or extreme flexibility in his body,
therefore
Linking Words
 he can be above to others during one period.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the inside abilities are difficult to follow or copy, without
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 these,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be slightly dropped and overtaken by
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
sportmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sportsman
. To
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 the players in real life, training and development are still necessary
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to
enhance
Verb problem
help
show examples
 them reach
the
Change the word
their
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they have faced
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
talented people, drilling can replace
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
sport's
Change noun form
sports
show examples
 science has been improved for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, now the process of improvement, like fitness routine, eating, or medicine, has been developed and has been used in
this
Linking Words
 industry to help either enhancement or treatment in
both
Use synonyms
 physical and mental which are important things for players. In my opinion,
both
Use synonyms
 sides have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantages and disadvantages in each category,
however
Linking Words
, every
sportman
Correct your spelling
sportsman
sportsmen
 should stick with
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 to replace
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their inabilities.
Thus
Linking Words
, hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 is more important
to have
Change preposition
than having
show examples
 natural traits. In conclusion, the
sportmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sportsman
, who have innate skills, are not faultless to have it, but they are just lucky and got
a little advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a little advantage
little advantages
show examples
 during competition compared to
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 athletes.

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task achievement
Consider improving clarity and precision in your argument. Ensure your ideas are fully developed and well-explained.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that relates to the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to strengthen your writing. This will help to convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You presented both views effectively and attempted to provide your opinion, which shows awareness of the task requirements.
task achievement
Some examples reflect a good understanding of sports and the concepts discussed, which adds strength to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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