Some feel that tourism endangerers culture while others feel it is beneficial. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Tourism
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is a major industry that contributes to economic growth , yet it is often debated whether it harms or preserves cultural
heritage
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.
While
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some argue that
tourism
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leads to cultural erosion . Others believe it helps preserve traditions and brings financial benefits. discuss both opinions and give my own view. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand,
tourism
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can endanger local cultures . As global travellers flood historical sites and communities, they may unintentionally alter traditional lifestyles.
For instance
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, in some tourist-heavy regions, locals shift from their traditional occupations to commercialized businesses , leading to a loss of cultural authenticity. In addition, mass
tourism
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can result in the
over commercialisation
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over-commercialisation
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of control practices, turning sacred rituals into more performances for entertainment .
On the other hand
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,
tourism
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can benefit culture by promoting awareness and preserving
heritage
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. Many historical sites and cultural landmarks receive funding from
tourism
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revenue ensuring their maintenance.
Additionally
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,
tourism
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encourages the younger generation to take pride in their
heritage
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. In my opinion,
while
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tourism
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does pose challenges, its benefits outweigh its risks if it is managed properly. Governments should implement regulations to protect cultural
heritage
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while
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allowing
tourism
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to thrive.

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Task Achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly outlines your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are connected smoothly using linking words and phrases. Some sentences feel slightly abrupt in transitions.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, especially in the second paragraph discussing the positive impacts of tourism.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples, such as the shift from traditional occupations to tourism-related businesses, effectively support your argument about the potential harms of tourism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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