IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals tend towards the viewpoint that
information
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 plays a crucial role in scientific research, business and
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
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 world.
While
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 other people argue that it is wrong to share freely certain
information
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 which is very valuable. Both opinions have valid arguments, I would have to support the second idea. On the one hand, knowledge exchange leads to progress in scientific research and academic fields. Global
corporation
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cooperation
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 between scientists from different countries of the world is expanding speedily.
Additionally
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, they can facilitate the emergence of new discoveries by sharing their ideas with each other.
For example
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,
as a result
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 of the creation of collaborative
organizations
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organizations,
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 the flexibility of scientists in exchanging
information
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 has increased by 38 percent.
On the other hand
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, there are very big risks in sharing
information
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. To prevent threats, companies must establish a strict security system and ensure their data protection.
Therefore
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, government agencies pay special attention to not publicly sharing confidential documents. Apart from these, innovation in fields,
such
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 as genetics, artificial intelligence, biotechnology etc are extremely valuable and should be protected. In conclusion, it seems that
free
Correct article usage
the free
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 sharing of
information
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 creates brand opportunities for global
corporation
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corporations
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, but at the same time creates many risks.
That is
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way
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why
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 it is extremely important for companies,
government
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governments
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 and scientists to choose the right and prudent approach to the issue.

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear opinion, it could benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. Consider adding specific instances or research to illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point. This helps to guide the reader through your essay and improves overall clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to link your ideas and paragraphs. This would enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You clearly outlined both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reflects your opinion well, which is an important part of an argumentative essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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