IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

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Some
people
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 argue it is hard to settle in urban
cities
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while
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 others believe it offers many opportunities.
This
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 Essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of living in urban
cities
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. One of the main reasons
people
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 move from rural areas to big
cities
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 is the chance to get a better life. There are more job vacancies in the big
cities
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 with high salaries than in the rural areas.
Moreover
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, they will have bonuses and
career
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 advancement if they can achieve their company's target.
In addition
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 to
career
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, living in the big
cities
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 will give their children an excellent education.
While
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 pursuing their
career
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, parents can ensure their children will have a better future by putting them in the best school or university.
For example
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, universities in big
cities
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 often partner with big companies, allowing their student to work there when they graduate.
On the other hand
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, living in big
cities
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 with fewer competencies can lead to severe consequences. Many
people
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 who move to the urban area with little knowledge and skills are often confused about what they will do after they arrive. They struggle to get a job resulting in unemployment. Having less money exacerbates their condition since they have to fulfil their family’s expenditures. Most unemployed often take
a
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apply
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freelance jobs which does not have a
career
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 path,
furthermore
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, they hardly assure their future, leading them to uncertain lives. In conclusion, living in the big
cities
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 can offer lucrative opportunities
such
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 as
career
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 paths and better education for children.
However
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, to avoid an uncertain life, having knowledge and skills should be mandatory for
people
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 who are thinking of moving to the big
cities
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. if they do not have capabilities, they will face many difficulties in life because they need to meet their family’s needs.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical issues; for example, 'students' instead of 'student'. Clarifying sentence structures can greatly enhance readability.
task achievement
While you discuss both advantages and disadvantages, further elaboration on each point could enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider including transitions between ideas for improved flow; this will help in creating a stronger logical connection between points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructure
  • Quality of life
  • Metropolitan
  • Commuting
  • Cost of living
  • Healthcare facilities
  • Educational institutions
  • Cultural activities
  • Overcrowding
  • Pollution
  • Stress levels
  • Employment opportunities
  • Recreational
  • Sense of community
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